Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML
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Top comments
Poke_my_mon 0
No Birthday sex? Aww buddy I feel so bad for you. Excuse me while I go have sex with my girlfriend.
Wdgames 0
I bet the Afro is involved in some kinky games, right?
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Comments (240)
oops_im_fucked 8
Tile to do the "whole dick in the box" thing for Her birthday.
GoneClubbin 9
Well I wouldn't think of a 2 year relationship as a ”wrapped present” but as more of an ”unwrapped present”
insanelyXnikki 18
Well I guess that's her own decision but why does she have to do that on your birthday? FYL
newmandotcom 6
Ydi
gnattine 11
Good for her!
cwl727 33
Propose.