Today, I invited my crush to come and spend Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was Thanksgiving and the first time my boyfriend would be meeting my whole family. He was nervous so he started drinking. By the end of the night, he was belligerently drunk and kissed my aunt twice thinking it was me. FML
Today, my crush invited me to her house and I ended up meeting her dad. Then she suddenly had to dash off because her boyfriend, whom I had no idea existed, unexpectedly had free time so they were going on a last minute date, which left me awkwardly sat there in the kitchen with her dad. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML
Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML
Today, a really cute girl from my class invited me out for a few drinks. I’ve had a crush on her all year and thought this was my chance. We went out but it turns out she has a boyfriend of 5 and a half years she plans to marry. I saw her as a potential girlfriend and I guess she saw me as something else. FML
Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML
Today, I went on my first date in over a year, and my best friend popped up at the restaurant uninvited. To make it worse, she pulled up a chair right in between us and started an argument with the bartender. FML
Today, my date unexpectedly brought her friend to dinner with us. They seemed bored of me after ten minutes and left me out of their conversation for the rest of the night. Oh, and they made me pay for both of them. FML
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Top comments
alexandraa_fml 0
Hopefully your taste in wine is better than your taste in women.
jane99 0
Falcon punch her.
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Comments (59)
AdvocataDiaboli 0
That's really weird... inviting someone to a family function won't magically make you a couple just because it's something couples do. Lame. :/
jc21_fml 1
♫ but you say he is just a friend ♫
MrWombastic 0
Amen #13, I was just about to post the same thing.. A few wise words from the Biz xD And I sort of agree with the rest of the posts, YDI for being to scared to take her out on an actual date and even let her bring a friend to YOUR family.. Sereously, why?!
NorfolkDude 2
Are you implying that you have an expensive wine collection? Or did you buy an expensive wine just for the two of you? All I got to say is that next time you should be more up front about things if you want to go beyond friendships. I mean blurting out right when you see someone is a bad idea, but I would think inviting someone over for thanksgiving, you should at least let her know your intentions. In anycase, inviting your "crush" over for thanksgiving is a bad idea. I mean if you guys were couples, I'd understand, but you're not. You should spend it with family and loved ones, not some girl you like. So I think YDI for trying too hard, without her knowing.
hoschiadedodi 0
You got owned. FYL for being the naive person you are.
DeathByFalchion 0
Sucks, but she has the right to have a boyfriend - albeit one she needs several drinks to stand the sight of. Try to make them pay for the wine if possible.
DameGreyWulf 1
Uh, wow, what a bitch. And I say that because she and her stupid boyfriend drank all the damned EXPENSIVE wine. Talk about greedy and rude; they're not and HER house or HIS house.
quinnteh 0
I say the other dude really is just a friend who has been asked to pretend to be her boyfriend.
ElMundio87 0
YDI for letting her bring a friend that you DON'T KNOW
BikerMike 0
you should have pissed in the wine
perdix 31
Why did you serve them the expensive wine? You should have given the dude anti-freeze and the girl some Kool-Aid laced with roofies. Then, give them a lecture on the sleep-inducing power of the tryptophan found in turkey. In a little while, get into the stuffing -- not the food, the activity.
meepmeep_fml 0
Umm, I know you're just trying to be funny and impress your little internet friends, but rape isn't something to joke about. Didn't your mama raise you right?
IOwnedYou 0
That wasn't funny either, joking about someone's mom..
meepmeep_fml 0
Actually, I wasn't making a joke. That was a legitimate question.
perdix 31
You do realize that this is a humor website, not a howto site? Why did you get so wound up about joking about rape, but joking about murder was OK? I hope you are not going out to try anti-freeze.
Ascaryrobot 0
Haha, if you don't laugh at rape and other bad things in the world then all you can do is sit in despair. Rape is awful for sure but hell, if you don't laugh all you can do is cry. FML is just helping the process.
meepmeep_fml 0
I didn't mention murder because the first time I read your comment, I read it as drugging both the girlfriend and the boyfriend, and then apparently 'stuffing' the both of them--which, by the way, I thought was hilariously anti-heteronormative. Alas, no. My problem is that, while this is a humor website, joking about rape isn't at all of the same caliber as joking about murder, and isn't funny no matter what. Joking about murder/violence is insidious enough in itself, but it's not nearly as harmful as joking about rape. Joking about rape isn't funny because it only lends support to the perverse mindset of our current 'rape culture'--one in which rape is not only made light of, but normalized, condoned, and excused. When you perpetuate the idea that girls 'deserve it' when they get raped, that it's somehow our fault when it happens, it only underscores the incredibly painful lack of sensitivity society as a whole has toward rape victims and the crime of rape itself. You're implying that sexual punishment is an acceptable form of retribution/humiliation for the misdeeds of women--a way of putting us in our place, or showing us 'who's boss,' if you will.
meepmeep_fml 0
(continued, because FML really does not want me to post this.) Your joke is a prime example of victim blaming--she deserved to be raped because she was a bitch to the OP--and it's not okay. I'd have felt WAY more comfortable if you'd just suggested he murdered the both of them, because that doesn't involve a gender specific crime which is hugely under-reported, under-prosecuted, constantly encouraged and then excused by society.
perdix 31
meepmeep, that's total bullshit! If you think humor is a guide for civilized behavior in a society, you are completely misguided. Often, my comments suggest outrageous and unacceptable behavior and that is why I think they are funny (I hope some others do as well. Sometimes I get confirmation that some people do appreciate my humor.) Did you see that one yesterday where the kid getting off the elevator on the third floor pressed all the buttons and the OP was going to the 35th floor? I suggested that the OP punch the kid in the asshole. Do you seriously think I was advocating such physical violence for an annoying prank? Do you think I really condone anal punching? I don't know whether you have been the victim of date rape or are close to someone who has, but I never intended my joke to be interpreted as being supportive of that crime. I realize to you it may seem that way, but you have a different point of view, so you can choose to take me at my word that I never intended to condone date rape. I'd like to say it won't happen again, but if I started to think about anyone who might possibly be offended at one of my comments, I couldn't contribute. I'm going to write as I always have and ask you to keep in mind that what I say to try to get laughs does not necessarily conform to my true beliefs.