Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today, I visited a friend’s house. He has a vast collection of Cartier bracelets. Being strapped for cash and starving, I stole one of them when he wasn’t looking, thinking he wouldn’t notice one missing. I went to pawn the bracelet. It’s fake. Rent’s due tomorrow. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML
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Top comments
PlaiPie 11
The moral of this story is: Never buy gifts for people
Sir_ND_Pity 35
You must have been high on something to think that that would work out. ...wait.
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Comments (218)
photogodess 13
That's pretty funny. Thanks for that :)
Obey_StudBoii 23
All I can say here is cut your habit. Think of your health. I've been sober for 2 yrs and it was the best decision I made.
anonymous0420 3
Get a life
Obey_StudBoii 23
Hey #122 don't be such a jerk.
robo_thunder 13
Buy normal priced jewelry, put it in a box from that expensive store. They usually give out those boxes for free if you ask.
xviii_jorja 10
If you can afford to buy yourself weed, presumably you can afford to purchase a loving member of your family a nice piece of jewellery for Christmas... Which is much more justified.
Sir_drink_alot 20
Yes because weed is so dreadfully expensive, the occasional joint wont hurt her.
stephissilly 18
no you don't, the present could be stored In that bag but not necessarily have to be from the name of the shop that's written on the bag. if she says anything you just say that you put it in a bag from different store (the jewellery store) to fool her :D
capnbzarr 43
No, you just have to buy her a gift that fits in that bag.
isbs 1
Worthless pothead
tawer 5
Why did you have an empty jewelry bag?
arizona_vz 12
just dont do anything...on christmas, when she asks about it...just tell her that you lied and didnt want her looking though your stuff..shell be mad but itll be funny x)
jujubunni5 9
Just get her something cheap and rap it in expensive jewelry stuff then it'll be like a bad joke