Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today, I visited a friend’s house. He has a vast collection of Cartier bracelets. Being strapped for cash and starving, I stole one of them when he wasn’t looking, thinking he wouldn’t notice one missing. I went to pawn the bracelet. It’s fake. Rent’s due tomorrow. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML
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Top comments
PlaiPie 11
The moral of this story is: Never buy gifts for people
Sir_ND_Pity 35
You must have been high on something to think that that would work out. ...wait.
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Comments (218)
Duceswild99 19
Use a doggie waste pickup bag. No one would willingly look in that.
Pinkykay2000 12
Your fault for being a druggie. Your so high you can't even spell right.
EverdreamOfMe 24
You're. Not your.
MeLikeBigBoom 8
"Today, I hid my weed"- YDI
isamisis 9
Not true. She gets what she gets. If you still feel guilty then ask for an empty box from the jewelry store and put a less expensive item in the box.
OwnAbyss 2
181, I'm not sure you realize just how ironic your post is.
Teacup_Treehouse 3
You should never feel obliged to get someone an expensive gift. Also, just because she saw a jewelry bag, doesn't mean jewelry was inside... If she makes a fuss when its not something expensive, she obviously doesn't know the meaning of Christmas.
PhishloverA 14
Do you expect sympathy when you're a weed smoker?
Teacup_Treehouse 3
Your comment suggests you are against weed smokers. Is that the case? Because you have Bob Marley as your Avatar....
Sonotsuave 37
You're a dick. You should be buying something nice for your sister anyway, asshole. Take it from the sister of a former drug-dealer. And its spelled jewelry, too. Ptooey
teresee 8
If you've got money for weed, you've got money for jewelry.
iBlamethetruth 9
Wow. Just...wow!