Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML
Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
dantheman123 0
well stop writing fmls and hurry up!
MizzHearts 0
he deserves this, why? because he ate chicken wings? people who rate this.. have problems
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Comments (54)
iheartglasses 0
24, haha! My first thought exactly! And 26, some peoples stomachs and intestines just cant handle spice. I LOVE spicey food and have no problem with it. However, jalapenos get to me lol Also, OP, Im no grammar nazi but one thing I hate as much as double negatives are the use of prepositions at the end of sentences. You could have said -work FOR.
katheo21 0
hot wings would be good right about now
Sh0wT1M3 0
LOL dats wat pepo is 4
hobosareawesome 0
FYL Indeed D:
ashleejayne69 0
why the eff are you on fml while on the toilet?hahaha
77taylah33 0
why are you posting it on fml when you have to be there in ten minutes?!?!??!
sk3l370n 0
go topless they'll forget all about you being late
pannic 0
and you have the time to type a fml wile your on the toilet instead of concentrating on the problem you already have :)
Judus_beej 0
and people make fun of me cause I don't eat meat. lmfao! enjoy the meeting bahahahahahah!
TheTrueDarkness 0
Sucks for you. That always happens to my dad,though, so I can sympathsize a little.