Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML
Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML
Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML
Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML
Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown because I have a 10,000 word final project due on Monday and I have only 800 words written so far, because I have been working on other classes and trying to be outside with my friends in the nice weather this week. FML
Today, one of my colleagues was asked to rewrite an entire project, which I wrote last week. I'd spent more than 4 days writing it. FML
Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Why don't you write about your period? Some people refer to menstruation as the "friend coming to visit" or similar euphemistic talk. That would be hilarious if you talked about your friend who visits you regularly, puts you in a bad mood and makes messes, and your teacher thought it was a real person. Try it!
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Imaginary friends are great to have because you know that they won't screw around on you... unless you're into that.
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Comments (79)
letitbe56 0
Poverina. E' bello il tuo insegnante? Forse lui sara' il tuo amico ;) Ma sul serio, e' completamente normale non avere molti amici nel primo anno all'universita'. Troverai degli amici molto presto...ma solo si cerchi di trovarne.
Byrnevictim 0
So, you could have just wrote in any day and said, "Today I have no friends, fml." Could you be any more pathetic?
electroboy_fml 0
That's the logical way of thinking, but logic is for idiots. Also, I also did this, except for an Irish class. I felt really lonely. Come to think of it, I STILL DOOOOOOO! *cries uncontrollably*
Witchcraft_fml 5
Ah, well. Sometimes imaginary friends are better than real friends. They don't borrow your stuff and forget to return it, they don't drag you along on double-dates and set you up with the lesser funny and attractive of the two, and they never play the "friend card"!
perdix 31
And imaginary friends don't "borrow" your wife. Usually. How come I dream up imaginary friends who are total bastards and are much hotter than me?
Witchcraft_fml 5
At least if they forget to give her back, you won't have to listen to her moaning and your friend's voice in your head whispering, "Score!"
Intoxicunt 6
Or his imaginary dick. Sorry, perdix, I had to.
perdix 31
Man, my imaginary friends go out partying and tell me the wrong place to go. It's always on the wrong side of town. By the time I catch up with them, they're shit-faced drunk and since I am the only one with real money, I have to pick up the tab. It's amazing how imaginary people can drink so much real ******* beer! And then when I finally pack their drunk asses in my head and am driving home, they start throwing up in there! And guess who has to clean it up? Damn, I have dreamed up some shitty imaginary friends, haven't I? I might see about getting a real one.
Witchcraft_fml 5
You want me to hire an imaginary sniper to take care of them for you? :] I hope you don't get attacked by drug-addicts, pimps, and prostitutes when you end up on the wrong side of town. Man, your friends would need their imaginary butts kicked for sending you there.
perdix 31
Thanks, Witchy, but you've got it backwards. They go to the bars with the druggies, pimps and hos and sent me to the tight-ass wine bars and tell me to wear my jacket with leather elbow patches and my dickey. Do you know what happens to a guy who comes to rescue imaginary friends from a sleazy bar wearing a dickey? Now that I have helped you with target aquisition send the sniper. I'll pay extra for everyone sporting a purloined dickey that he or she whacks. I want my dickeys back!
Witchcraft_fml 5
I could probably hire a hooker to whack those dickeys, as they've got nothing to lose. What a happy ending! I hope the druggies didn't hurt you too much when they busted those tequila bottles over your head for having leather elbow-patches. I heard the shattering of glass and the thud from all the way across the Atlantic, but alas, I could not do anything about it. At least you can defeat the druggies, pimps, and hos by claiming to be a wine connoisseur and listing off the best and most expensive wines ever created. It might make their head explode. Killed by their very own weapon!
Witchcraft_fml 5
Nooo! Do not resuscitate, I repeat, DO NOT RESUSCITATE! *gasps* *dies*
perdix 31
Witchy! I cannot let you perish because of my stupid imaginary friends, so I can't honor your DNR request. I'm going to try CPR and mouth-to-mouth. What are the steps? First, loosen restrictive clothing. I'll get mine first, then yours. . .
Witchcraft_fml 5
Good, I was hoping you would save me! Oh, by the way, my bra unhooks in the front.
perdix 31
Damn, I was messing around in back when one of my imaginary friends beat me to it! Even though he is imaginary, I can't sneak a peek 'cause he's in my way. I'm going to have to unimagine that son-of-a-bitch. . .
wah_face 0
hahaha i had to write a story for spanish and wrote about a paramedic hitting on a patient. I asked my paramedic boyfriend what he would do to save me, and he said he'd rip off my shirt and bra. teehee! OP, when writing about anything in another language that you are learning, teachers and examiners don't actually care whether or not what you're saying is actually true. a lot of the time it's much easier to make stuff up with the vocab that you do know, rather than struggle to use words that your don't really know but tell the truth.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Sorry, but at least I gave him a good slap across the face! Now he has a red handprint on his imaginary cheek. :]
ktho522 0
fyl. i know how you feel :(
lolwatlol 0
If you got no friends, theres most likely a really good reason for it. YDI
Peroxide 3
What about your old mate zombie jesus? He died for your sins but came back for your brains...
StrawberryPiez_ 0
when all you wanted was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now....
purple5 0
Don't see this as much of an FML unless it really gets you down, otherwise I think it's okay to make up a 'friend' for something like that. I'm not fluent in german, but when I was learning and we'd have to write stuff, the easier stuff to get correct wasn't always true, so I'd just make it up really. Tutor doesn't need to know the friend doesn't actually exist!
WhyworldWhy 0
I would make one up anyway. I hate when they ask for stuff from my personal life in school. I always fake it.
GreenHacker 0
So what you're saying here is that you're a loser? Dude, go out and make a friend.