Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait five years for a rink to open in my town, two weeks for my lessons to begin, but only ten minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML
Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML
Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, I bought some roller skates to go with the set my daughter got for her birthday. I haven’t skated since I was a kid, but I figured it was like riding a bike and I couldn’t have forgotten altogether. My broken coccyx disagrees. FML
Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
The circle of life is a vicious one. Take heed, wear protection.
yourlifesfucked 0
from experience: you can NOT wear protection for your tailbone. I'm a hockey player and an excellent skater and even i have hit my tailbone a few times. even if she were wearing hockey pants they dont afford any real protection. FYL op that hurts like hell.
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Comments (121)
deadsrs 0
(Insert witty comment here)
ADOG2645 17
(Insert witty reply here)
purplemnm 9
same thing happened to me...a few years later I'm winning state figure skating competitions, coz I'm not a quitting pussy
deadsrs 0
Well well... that's quite a stretch you made there... where in this fml does it say she quit?And even if she did is calling someone a pussy every really okay? Unless of course they hurt themselves while ice skating... wait...
yourlifesfucked 0
troll fail! and when i say troll, i dont just mean your looks... some people just arent meant for skating...
purplemnm 9
if she didn't quit she wouldn't be whining about it. that's logic and at least I have enough pride in myself to post my real picture. so stfu
bluesclues72 0
you can't talk about logic when you dont have any. she's whining about it because she can't walk dumbass. I'm sure if you were ugly, you would be compl- oh wait. nevermind
deadsrs 0
Wtf... purplemnm isn't ugly. Why attack someones profile picture when all you need to do is attack their post? That is unnecessary overkill and ruins the air for people who could actually show the idiocy in jumping the gun on stretched "logic". if you are going to make a point then please do the following; make your point, make a counter point to their return point, get the **** on with your life. mix that up in whatever order you deem necessary.
purplemnm 9
...I'm not ugly? wow I seriously never knew that..I've been growing up in the wrong places
KurouTenshi 0
don't give up! learn to balance a hand stand, then get custom inserts so you can wear the ice skates on your hands, and then go put there, practice hard, and become a successful handicapable ice figure skater!! :D you can do it!
yourlifesfucked 0
win!
MimiKnox 0
It's a sign
tekinzdudez 0
haha good thing you don't live in Canada
guckylynn 19
What does living in Canada have to do with the post. Nothing in the least actually, Canada does not equal skating...
WitchQueenLiz 3
Don't worry, Hun. I did the same thing when I first went out on the ice, (I'm a now-retired figure skater. Fibromyalgia forced me to quit). Just wait till you're on your feet again and go back out there!
EvelynLindemann 2
i also have fibromyalgia and i am only 11 but i still skate and push through. also my doctor advised me that figure skating is a very good exercise and a helps to relieve some of the pain of fibromyalgia, so you should still skate but dont try any axels or anything on the lines of that until you have your fibro under control
AbbyAlyssaS 0
Dumbass it's ice skating. you fall often.
zamboniman13 0
wow epic fail. though it is just so much fun to sit down and watch people like you fall on their ass ice skateing :).
fylifeindeed 0
hope you feel better that really sucks!
crazycornn 0
wear ass protection, and if they didn't they shouldve