Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait five years for a rink to open in my town, two weeks for my lessons to begin, but only ten minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML
Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML
Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, I bought some roller skates to go with the set my daughter got for her birthday. I haven’t skated since I was a kid, but I figured it was like riding a bike and I couldn’t have forgotten altogether. My broken coccyx disagrees. FML
Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
The circle of life is a vicious one. Take heed, wear protection.
yourlifesfucked 0
from experience: you can NOT wear protection for your tailbone. I'm a hockey player and an excellent skater and even i have hit my tailbone a few times. even if she were wearing hockey pants they dont afford any real protection. FYL op that hurts like hell.
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Comments (121)
terlolnator 0
5years for sex, two weeks to get a gf, 10 minutes to finish, that must be your life, fyl
Tealfishy 0
oh!!!! I know ALL to well how you feel. I fell ob my tailbone roller blading about two years ago, and it still hurts to sit on it.
youandme4ever_fml 0
awwwwwww that sucks:( but why wait so long?.....and what's a tailbone?
sierratwister 0
Well first of all nobody wears protection butt pads during their first figure skating lesson. It's overkill. Even skaters doing double jumps sometimes don't wear pads. In skating, you have to learn how to fall properly- on the side of your leg or on one butt cheek.
Link5794 18
Paper_cut 0
well, better on your tailbone than on your face. when i tried ice skating for the first time, i fell forward and in the process of catching my fall i broke my wrist.
xDrella 0
I dislocated my tailbone in figure skating. and relocated it the same way...
moonsigh 0
I'm a figure skater, when we do this, we HAVE to skate it off and get back to work. Don't be a pussy.
dhiran_singh 16
I hope your tailbone doesn't come out of your crack LOL xD
muzikmaestro 15
I feel your pain (literally!!!) The first time I went iceskating is also the only time I went. Within the first hour in the rink I hit the wall and shattered my pinkie and part of my hand..... and I play saxophone....... which meant I couldn't play for a few weeks.