Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML
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Top comments
ChickenTenders 6
Not quite sure how someone needing to vomit is funny...
rsunshine2020 13
You have a SICK sense of humor
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Comments (137)
Kelishas 9
Not so funny ever. I'm assuming that if you're doing a ride along you're interested in becoming a paramedic? With the kind of compassion and sympathy you demonstrated in this FML, please don't. Ps you didn't even get vomited on, you had to hold the bag - what's the big deal?
baref00tmama 15
Serves you right. Someone being taken away in an ambulance isn't funny. Please go far away from the medical profession and work somewhere more appropriate to your level of douche-is there an Ed Hardy outlet near you, maybe?
xRezSynn 15
How is that funny?
Brave_L_Toaster 7
Oh come on, that's not even bad. Try giving an intoxicated patient an IV in a moving ambulance while trying to keep them from taking off the mask that is the only thing between you and a case of TB. Bad times.
Kkkdawg 27
Yeah, you're an asshole. I hope you fall and break your neck and get laughed at. That's not ******* cool, whatsoever.
hplover7 11
Where does the funny part come in? Ydi
Thatguy334 7
What a shame you weren't vomited on, you'd deserve it
KayleeT 9
Karma's a bitch , you immature little shit.
DanielleinDC 34
You know, I'm not an EMT, but I would know that a patient in the back of an ambulance is no laughing matter. And if said patient needed to puke, the proper response is, Oh, shit, she's going to throw up, better find a position where she won't aspirate it and get a bag to catch the spew. You're a jerk and not only do you deserve having to hold the bag, but you deserve to be the one cleaning any spillage.
HomoIndomitus 4
Next time take a cab.