Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ChickenTenders 6
Not quite sure how someone needing to vomit is funny...
rsunshine2020 13
You have a SICK sense of humor
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
KiddNYC1O 22
So you think the feeling of dying is funny? Because that's how I feel when I vomit.
MyS3lf 24
Not sure what being observant had to do with it, but you really don't seem to be a very good person. Nothing about someone being in an ambulance is funny (unless it's one of those idiots from 'Jackass' the show, then it's hilarious).
goofy4123 8
Karma comment.
bexxiiee 11
It escapes me why you would find it funny in the first place. YDI, for sure. If only she'd vomited all over you instead...
beanthemouse 13
Serves you right for making fun of the weak and sick. Selfish bum.
beanthemouse 13
Observant: noticing somthing that no one else sees/saw eg: an easter egg in a movie. Hard to find. Somone choughing and moaning is not hard to notice that they are gonna puke. You do not know the meaning of it.
Eivana 37
You are an asshole. That is probably why she needed to vomit.
mtckmom 2
How did this idiot get 800 people (as of now) to click FML and not YDI? If anyone deserves to be puked on, it's this douche bag!!!
imazaari 12
I got my hand s**t on by a dog while taking its temperature the other day. That must be hysterical right?
Thrasherrr 3
That's not even that bad, trying doing that for a living and then come talk me