Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my professor why I’d missed two classes. Even with a doctor’s note explaining my very serious health issues, she rolled her eyes and huffed, "Maybe if you’re ‘oh so sick,’ you should just drop out!” Gee, sorry for trying to improve my life through adversity. FML
Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
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Top comments
GoW_Chick 15
He was basically saying he knew his professor was going to be a bitch about his cough and used pms as a way to explain it
Insane_Tea 15
We all have more than one brain? Then again they do say men think with their other "head". You know..the old reliable.. the sneaky snake... Penis
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Comments (56)
bizarre_ftw 22
Go to the doc, get proof of your apparent bronchitis, then hold it in her face and gloat. (warning, taking this route may potentially lead to a failing grade. Do it anyway) (and by "doc" I mean DocBastard)
GoW_Chick 15
Wait just because he has a cough doesn't mean it's bronchitis, and I don't think Doc would want to be part of such a, with all honesty, childish act. 5 seconds of gloating glory with the cost of a failing grade is not worth it.
DocBastard 40
If he gets shot in the abdomen and I have to remove his spleen, I'll be happy to write him an excuse note. Otherwise, he needs to take some cough medicine and shut up.
GovernorGeneral 8
If i supposedly get shot in the abdomen, would you mind writing me an excuse note?.....see i have a project due on monday....and....
Candor 1
Kay, to all you people making judgemental comments, get a life not everyone has the same opinion as you do.
fourthfloor 3
Are all the FML posters high today? How the devil would you smell "menstrual blood in the air? GROSS Are you a mix between a wolf and a grizzly bear? A very sexist one that is. I have seen many grumpy guys taking it out on others, because of whatever excuse. And you are doing the same blaming it on women and their periods, stay home next time you are sick!!
fourthfloor 3
On a second thought, I studied with women for many a year and never smelled menstrual blood. So you know your professor's cycle how? You 2 must be in very intimate terms for you to know even that about her!
inlove72 11
Or he was just thinking of a way to explain why she was so grumpy.
vintagemeow 6
She sounds angry- lucky she didn't put you in a 'coughin'
Pudagiah 12
I see what you did there. Sneaky.
Becca_BooP 8
I don't think people read this right he said he could practically smell it, not that he actually could. As in as soon as he walked in he could tell she was being a cranky bitch like all of us girls are when it's the time of the month.
mandy_2480 21
Way to stick up for womankind.
KiranGill 5
sometimes I like to hide under my bed and pretend I'm a carrot ..
vintagemeow 6
Sometimes I like to crawl inside a small teddy bear and pretend to be a Nepalese monk.
nicoli7jj 3
Professors are crazy now.. Lol
beebeeL 1
Wow what a stupid bitch!! I haate girls that get that way during their period! I'm a female & BULLSHIT if you say you can't control your hormones!
bbgirlXD 6
Amen!! Girls find excuses to be even more bitchy that's all!! I don't even know how guys deal with that . Okay it's really hurting us and stuff and yes you get mad if someone is insistent . But still no need to go crazy.
murdersquirrel 15
Whatever. A woman that says she can control her hormones and never has problems with them and doesn't get why other women have problems with their hormones is bullshit. Meaning, you're bullshit.
ShittingHicks 4
I used to think reading comprehension was alive and well. FML commenters ruined that dream.
fourthfloor 3
Of course we know what he meant with "smelling menstrual blood in the air". It does not make it less scatological nor sexist though.
CRC_101 31
57 - No, actually, if you read the comments, it's apparent that many of us did not know what he meant. I wouldn't bring "we" into your accusations about the FML.
fourthfloor 3
Accusations?