Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my professor why I’d missed two classes. Even with a doctor’s note explaining my very serious health issues, she rolled her eyes and huffed, "Maybe if you’re ‘oh so sick,’ you should just drop out!” Gee, sorry for trying to improve my life through adversity. FML
Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
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Top comments
GoW_Chick 15
He was basically saying he knew his professor was going to be a bitch about his cough and used pms as a way to explain it
Insane_Tea 15
We all have more than one brain? Then again they do say men think with their other "head". You know..the old reliable.. the sneaky snake... Penis
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Comments (56)
soulmancam 6
lesson learned: Don't go to school when you are sick!!!
ohreallynow1992 3
Is it just me or is anyone else unable to get past the word choice at the beginning? "Went to college"... Shouldn't it just be "went to class"? "Went to college" just seems like a phrase in reference to a long period of time.
murdersquirrel 15
I thought that but let it go...
CRC_101 31
59 - I'm not saying this for certain, but it's likely that he doesn't live on his college campus. If that's the case, then "went to college" can emphasize that he went to the trouble of making the drive to the campus despite his cough, also. Whatever the case, college refers to a place just as much, *if not more so*, than a time period. It's all about personal perception.
hellonyancat 6
I think it's fine. He's saying "I went to college" in the same way you would say "I went to the library". It's nothing to do with a period of time, it's about going to a place. It's hard to explain this.
cass85 8
"College" in the UK generally refers to a place of learning one might go to between the ages of 16-18 not to university therefore he wouldn't live on campus and the phrasing is as normal as saying "I went to school".
fourthfloor 3
Good thing testosterone never affected a guy's lucidity, lol. Wait...
fourthfloor 3
Best comment, haha!
DMIN11 4
Nobody ever pays me in kicking me out of a college class while having a cough ( ._.)
fourthfloor 3
I don't think it has nothing to do with her period but telling you to shut up and leave....that's rude, she could have ask you to get some water, a ricola, or go home because you are sick, and not treat you as if you were still in High School.
DocBastard 40
I'm severely disappointed with all the commenters who couldn't figure out what OP meant by "practically smell". Mods: apparently you should only post FMLs that are spelled out in plain English so everyone can comprehend them. Obscurity and vagueness should henceforth be eliminated to placate the masses.
Sirin_fml 47
And hyperlink every word with more than two syllables to a dictionary definition, too? You wish.
fourthfloor 3
I guess satire and sarcasm also scapes quite a few people!
dominic1221 6
Dude, claiming sarcasm is the oldest cop out in the book. And even if it was sarcasm it was wrapped around a really shit joke. A REALLY shit joke. You just can't read and people like you suck all the fun out of FML's.
DocBastard 40
Dominic, who exactly are you talking to? Who is claiming WHAT was sarcasm? Who can't read? Seems to me that you're the one who can't take a joke (it wasn't that bad), and any fun-sucking is being done by you.
dominic1221 6
Wow Doc, put the claws away. I was talking to the guy above me, you know, the one who's claiming sarcasm like I said. He posted what, 3 or 4 comments where he obviously didn't understand what OP was saying then when people start ragging on him he comes to this thread saying he was being sarcastic all along. Gimme a break. There could've been 50 funny comments posted and we could've all had fun. Instead there's all these people wondering WTF OP's talking about, because they can't use their ******* brains. I get YOUR sarcasm, by the way. I hope to hell instead of dumbing FMLs down so the masses can understand, the mods go for FMLs with real English in so all these fourth-graders will go away back to Disney.com and stop ruining the fun.
moophie 2
What a mole!
ddeathbombb 5
Report to the principle please
tpike1296 11
I know this will get thumbed down, but this is one of my major pet peeves. It's principal, not principle. *prepares for rain composed of downward pointing thumbs*
ChloeG_fml 9
Look on the bright side, you got out of class :)