Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my professor why I’d missed two classes. Even with a doctor’s note explaining my very serious health issues, she rolled her eyes and huffed, "Maybe if you’re ‘oh so sick,’ you should just drop out!” Gee, sorry for trying to improve my life through adversity. FML
Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
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Top comments
GoW_Chick 15
He was basically saying he knew his professor was going to be a bitch about his cough and used pms as a way to explain it
Insane_Tea 15
We all have more than one brain? Then again they do say men think with their other "head". You know..the old reliable.. the sneaky snake... Penis
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Comments (56)
Shrike 24
Jeez, PMS much? Edit: WTF? Blood cause she was on her period, people. Kind obvious.
lulucall911 6
It's a guy...
Shrike 24
O'rly? It says " by danny5191 (man) " under the FML. Stick to taking those Myspace mirror self-shots and leave the commenting to people with more than half a brain.
onlychildFTW 34
Who uses MySpace anymore?
Artisani 3
@Shrike: J/s, that picture isn't self-shot (unless she used a timed delay), nor was it done with a mirror. Also, she thought your comment was about OP, and was stating that, thinking you didn't know. Just a misunderstanding. No need for personal attacks.
lowie89 7
Doesn't make sense....how are the 2 connected? If the blood was the fml why mention your cough at all
KeyboardWarrior 10
*Sigh*.
ifoundalaska 11
Do you spend a lot of time smelling menstrual blood? I've just never heard a guy talk about menstrual blood like that :s
callie123amy 4
That's what I was thinking? Lol
ClaremoreZebra 8
He was just saying that as a way to tell you that she was being a bitch and she was acting like she was on her period. Seriously, people these days.
xLights_Out 3
Scumbag teachers -___-
Insane_Tea 15
"Menstrual blood." LOL? But on a serious note if your proffesor is going through menopause no amount of ass kissing will get you back in.
perdix 31
Maybe if he shows up at her office, late in the evening, wearing his Red Wings jersey, he can begin the healing process. Bow-chicka-bow-bow
perdix 31
Women tend to get upset when your coughs blend in the words "bullshit" and "*******" at strategic points in their lectures, regardless of where in the cycle the are.
GoW_Chick 15
Sounds like you need a RICOLA, and some handy dandy bitch be gone spray! When bitches be trippin' Bitch Be Gone should be what you're grippin'!
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
"I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air..." Who are you, Edward Cullen? But it all seriousness, that sucks ):
br0ccoli 15
Hahahaha!! Edward Cullen. Made me laugh.
CadyAsInKatie 8
Bwahahaha!!!
moiisme_fml 5
Kay, all of you people making comments on the "menstrual blood" thing, get a life, not everyone has the same opinions as you.
tpike1296 11
And some people's opinion, is that they should BE ABLE TO EXPRESS THEIR OPINION. Damn hypocrite. "everyone has their own opinion, but mine is that I don't care". Wow, this comment seems really assholish. I'm gonna post it and blame it on me being half asleep xD
d3sigN8t3dDruNk 1
Guess u know where the smell was coming from now! Lol
Bladian 5
That was the point, idiot.