Today, I guess my son's balls dropped. I've caught him humping his sister's Selena Gomez posters several times today. For god's sake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend staring at my sister through the doorway while we were having sex. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML
Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML
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Top comments
Dylbro 18
I guess he cant keep his hands to himself.
Tripartita 45
Your son is humping… a flat poster? Relax, OP, relationships that lack such depth tend to end pretty quickly.
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Comments (60)
sweetbliss3 37
I hope you take the poster down. she probably touches the poster sometimes and if he's humping it that's gross.
Ayasha_fml 12
How immature. It's not as if he was humping it naked and may not have even finished on it, and you act like he's STD ridden. Because the poster cant be sanitized by anti-bacterial stuff for the pathetic germophobes. I guess virgins are afraid of anything sexual, even though every human and animal goes through sexual maturity. If he's just starting to go through the changes, he doesn't fully know what he's doing except it feels good, and again, probably didn't get anything on it because he doesn't know what he's doing to get there.
tomvertigo 17
Sounds to me like you need to inform him of the five knuckle shuffle, give him a box of tissues and head for the hills.
MetalxSoldier 26
He's probably just sick of that same old love.
enginsteve 17
I am wondering if the poster is on the wall while he's doing this. Because if it is, then he is going to have a hell of a career in acrobatics or gymnastics!
tygerarmy 35
Time to teach him how to take matters into his own hands.
revolvearoundme 15
FYL. Your daughter wants to get with Beiber and your son wants to be him. If your wife comes in like a wrecking ball then just walk away... Drop everything and walk away and never come back.
yerawizardlizzy 27
No.
ABlindMan 17
So that was absolutely horrid to read. Completely overboard and not even remotely fitting to the FML.
JustTheTruth42 13
Yeah I'm glad this didn't end as bad as I thought it would. I paused after seeing humping his sister. So glad I continued. XD
capnjacksparrow 7
Still don't understand how one would hump a flat poster, particularly if it's hanging on a wall...
interesting33 37
Or how that would be satisfying - I mean I get the imagination part but physially, humping a poster - how does that help?
Gatashablan 7
I wouldn't be surprised if this is the same way one might hump on flat screen. It's mostly part of imagination and hormones considering his young age.
andrmac 25
Well if he keeps it up there might be a hole in the wall...
RedCronos 17
well she does look like a kid herself
dracolich 27
Time to teach your son about sexuality and healthy ways to engage in it. Also respect for other people and other people's property.