Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I presented the worst seminar presentation probably in the entire history of my graduate department. I kept stumbling over questions, and overall, making an ass out of myself. I probably should leave my masters program at how thoroughly I burned myself. FML
Today, I had my first job interview in months. The guy chuckled mockingly at my master's degree in philosophy and wound up admitting that he had no idea why I'd even been selected to be interviewed. FML
Today, while not feeling well at work, I had to finish up some papers. I was so out of it, I couldn't remember how to spell my name. I had to improvise by pronouncing each syllable of my name out loud. My boss now thinks I'm a dumbass. FML
Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask a question in a packed lecture hall. The professor repeated my question, except he'd misheard me and rephrased it into something wildly incorrect. The class laughed. Instead of correcting him, I nodded. Now half the class thinks I don’t understand the difference between correlation and causation. FML
Today, the only part of my Psychology final that I was 100% confident in was my name. FML
Today, I taught my first seminar as a teaching assistant. I prepared for hours and rehearsed and discussed it with the professor. Two students fell asleep, I said "shit" twice and I froze mid-sentence, then said, "Sorry guys, I have no idea what I'm saying." FML
Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML
Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jemmers 13
Wow you really deserve it this time, my friend. Next time, lay off the alcohol the night before a meeting like this. You really messed it up and I have no sympathy for you.
DocBastard 40
You only get one chance to make a first impression, and you blew it. I'm sure you made quite the impression. If you're going to act like an idiot in front of people, at least do it drunk, not hungover.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
arsenicalhumor 30
Wow! a drink that knocks off two years of memory? I need some of this...
perdix 31
Change your major to Oenology, and then your alcoholism can be considered "research."
kriz_allizwell 6
You booze, you loose!
shaquilla 7
smh yeah you deserved it..
onorexveritas 24
expect no pity from me
kawaiisakura 12
Once I read about how you were "so hungover," you got an immediate YDI. Do you not think before you do? Was that never taught to you or something?
Epikouros 32
Idiot. You're even too stupid to be an FML commenter. When I'd just finished my MA, I passed up a chance to tour Amsterdam's red-light district in order to present a poster at a scholarly conference. Let me guess: you couldn't say no when your friends wanted to go drinking, could you?
buckley91 9
The difference would be you have a masters he has the equivalence to an associates degree.
GuinnessGirrrl 8
AA, eh?!
Bacontree 14
If you knew that that event was happening before you went drinking, you definitively deserve it for going out to drink so much when you know you have a big day ahead of you. And if you didn't know, you still deserve it because drinking so much that you get a crazy hangover the day after never serves any use whatsoever.
paprika_pilipili_fml 14
Why would you go and get drunk right the day before that ? Smh...