Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got spammed and bitched at by my ex-girlfriend from high school because she found out I didn't even have feelings for her. It was 3 years ago. FML
Today, I got an e-mail from a company saying that I would not be a good fit for them. Strangely, it's quite similar to an e-mail they sent me last month. And the month before. They aren't generated e-mails, each one is different. They just e-mail me every month to remind me that I suck. FML
Today, I finally read an email I'd been avoiding. I thought it would be from my dad whom I haven't spoken to in years, and that he was checking on me during the pandemic. It turned out to be spam. The last contact I had with anyone related to my dad was one of his ex's friends, saying she was in jail and needed help. FML
Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML
Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML
Today, I couldn’t figure out why I was getting so much spam in my professional email. My own mother thought it would be a hilarious “prank” to sign me up for a ton of random mailing lists. I missed an amazing job opportunity due to her bullshit. FML
Today, I received an email saying, "Thinking of you and hoping you are taking care." It was from the love of my life. We broke up 20 years ago. Previously, we had contact every 5+ years. It's just too late. FML
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML
Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CaptNomNom 17
U ain't alone . I feel u...
NiveaKK 9
Go out and meet new people,OP I'm sure you can find someone suitable for you :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
CaptNomNom 17
U ain't alone . I feel u...
llamafish 25
We can all be forever alone together :)
Pentium_4 27
8 - that's quite a paradox!
SkoomaKi 28
Okay. So if all the forever alone's got together and stayed together, they would be forever friends. But if one of them decided to date another one, then we would have forever lovers. Then they would eventually become forever pregnant. Then give birth to a baby forever alone. But because they are *forever* they can't die and they keep multiplying!
Pentium_4 27
CPU overload...
CryMoreFMLs 15
Forever Together? That's an interesting thought...
Nutty4Muffs 3
But if they were forever pregnant, how would the give birth?
CaptNomNom 17
I feel like I just divided by 0. Oh well, least I'll be forever with people :D
JayBear14 11
I read this is the morning and didn't understand it because I thought it meant spam the food. Now reading it when I am awake, it makes a lot more sense.
leviosarain91 0
I feel you too!
sleepindogs 8
10 years alone.... I think he's feeling himself...
NiveaKK 9
Go out and meet new people,OP I'm sure you can find someone suitable for you :)
Da_Bauss435 8
OP, you are the chosen one. You have been chosen as someone's date on eHarmony.
Hidur 10
Guys, I dunno. It appears OP didn't reply to the same spam 10 years prior to this one. He's really ******* himself over on this one..
crazycatlady5 6
For all we know, OP could be 10.
I_Punch_Babies 7
whatever happened to fortune cookies?
jackassiddy 8
A delicious way to find out you're ******. *crack* -You will have no love life for the next ten years- DEPRESSION BINGE! NOMNOMNOM.
llamafish 25
Spam is yummy though! Not that kind of spam? Oh... Um...this is a wee bit awkward...
I_Punch_Babies 7
it goes great with corn and french fries
ycrem0n 21
4 - The spam mentioned in the post is a message sent indiscriminately to large numbers of recipients on the Internet, or sometimes on phones.
llamafish 25
I'm well aware of that fact...
ycrem0n 21
17 - No shit, Captain Obvious!
llamafish 25
You...replied to yourself?
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I just choked on my Fruit Loops from the sheer dumbness of this moment.
skoob1 12
Maybe the mods made him reply to himself...
CryMoreFMLs 15
Processing . . . Loading connection to server . . . Connection Failed. Genius!
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
What..... What just happened?
allard 14
Can I have some fruit loops?
Demonfish 14
I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!!!
mhopper 13
Spam with eggs and rice.... Mmmmm :)
VeganVampyre 27
So... I WAS going to reply to 17 to point out how he was missing the obvious sarcasm, but... It appears he already took care of that himself... I wish we had more people around here who pointed out their own stupidity to themselves. It's quite entertaining.
owlfeatures 8
Am I the only one to think that 17 is schizophrenic? No? Just me...
vcapelo 19
Believe in yourself! Why should others if you don't?
skullofdarkness 18
I'm in the same boat as OP, some people just don't get noticed, and so don't get dates. :/ sad but true
vcapelo 19
Maybe it's true, but being noticed has also something to do with confidence. If you pretent to believe in yourself just a little, I promise more people will notice you!
lyssalovesyou 0
Chin up! Those things are stupid anyway.
Nicefella 0
Well said
perdix 31
Or chins up, as the case may be.
demo3000 0
Wow good one
oppawoppa 9
Aww well plz dont try eharmony. These online dating sites are ridiculous!!
homeboyangst 17
But.. One in six marriages met online!
TwiztedYuri 9
6 of 6 end in divorce. and then more start its the cycle of online meetings. that's what the real world is for.
jaredofmo 22
My sister met her husband online. It'll be three years for them in July, and they're still going strong.
partout_fml 6
May not sound like the most romantic story when telling your children how you met their father, but it could be worse and take >7 seasons..
SkoomaKi 28
Go to clubs, bars and maybe even dating sites..? There's always someone out there waiting for you OP, you just need to find them.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Those are seriously the worst places to find companionship. Unless OP is looking for some birthday herpes, of course.
SkoomaKi 28
#14 - I knew someone was going to bring back that FML! Those are the places people usually find love or companionship. Nothing like a sex fest in some bar to brighten your dull life or the nervousness waiting for a reply on a dating site.
llamafish 25
14 - My parents met in a bar...
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Whatever happened to just staring awkwardly at people on the bus? Or scooting undesirably close to someone on a park bench, feeding pigeons? How times have changed...
perdix 31
#24, aw, you are old school. Meeting people online is the way to go. Once you've established mutual interest, you should meet them in real life as soon as possible. It's so nice to know a person's true height, weight, age, income, marital status, etc. before you blow a ton of money liquoring them up and sharing bodily fluids.
rahrah765765 11
Especially marital status- who indicates married on a dating site? "James, 35years old. I am looking for a fun and easy going lady to hang out with when my 3rd wife is giving me the ***** about my 2nd wife. Must be able to get along with my jealous 1st wife. Must want lots of children - don't worry they wont be any of yours. Must be slender - I only have a king single bed to share with my 3 wives."
heyy17 10
You'll meet someone special someday! You only need one amazing person in the end, and I'm sure you'll find them (:
skullofdarkness 18
Would you be my someone special? ;) lol just kidding, but seriously, cliche sayings really don't have anything on actually having a S.O.
Shayton 12
I wanna meet you
ycrem0n 21
Don't rush OP. Just relax, take it slow, and let the good times roll.