Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was finally able to come home after 4 months in a hospital recovering from brain surgery and physical therapy. While taking a walk around the neighborhood, my new neighbor's Rottweiler ran after me. I tripped while running, got bit, and went back to the hospital for stitches. FML
Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I went outside for the first time in a week and ended up tripping over something, busting my lip and nose, and breaking a tooth. I ran away in a dazed and confused panic while dropping all my stuff. Not going outside again for a while. FML
Today, it was my first day out of hospital and being able to walk outside. I went to a shop and an old lady backed up into me and elbowed the exact stop on my back the pain starts from. I hit the floor like a ton of bricks and had to go back to hospital. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I came home from the hospital after six days. Despite having a cat sitter, they managed to shit on the bathroom floor and pee on my bed in protest for being gone too long. FML
Today, I tripped over a dog and broke my elbow. I'm stuck dogsitting for the rest of the weekend and he won't stop jumping up at my broken arm. FML
Today, I finally went to the hospital for a week-long migraine. A few Saturdays ago I went to the park to play frisbee with my friends and coworkers. While climbing a fence, I fell and hit my head twice. Turns out I have a severe concussion and a swollen brain. FML
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Top comments
DerangedFox 0
Perhaps you should avoid animals in general for awhile...
null_fml 11
A dog decided to take over your front yard? You sure you didn't just go to the wrong house 'cause you were messed up from your pain meds? lol
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Comments (75)
life_can_suck21 0
dobys are sooo nice and sweet and luvable if you train them right *looks to poopsy* right baby *poopsy* right
CharlotteRx 4
hahahahaa hell yeah they are :) Dobs FTW
goonie85 0
I guess Im not sure how tripping over a cat gives you a seizure.... unless it was a photophotic seizure and when you tripped, you accidentally turned on a strobe light. I'm on seizure meds and i'm a walking accident, but never cat-induced. Hmmmm.
SarahMarie83 0
If you shot my Dobbie, your ass would be right back in the hospital. But he was raised well and is not aggressive so no worries here. Most dogs won't attack unless they are hurt or threatened. So what did you do?
sistersestina 0
What did do? Came across a dog that wasn't the same as "most dogs", perhaps? Or even "most Dobermans?" There are always exceptions, as you yourself indicate.
Omnigeek6 1
No, this person is just a really obvious troll.
goonie85 0
There are several breeds of dogs that get mistaken for pitbulls, so the number of attacks is very inaccurate. In reality, they have a lower bite incident occurance than chocolate labs and chihuahuas, but those dogs aren't scary enough to put on the evening news. If it's got teeth, it can bite. punish the deed, not the breed. It's ignorance that passes breed ban laws....
fudrick 0
Indeed, many breeds are mistaken for pits. "Pitbull" isn't an official breed, so anything close enough to a pit to be mistaken for it, I place under the general label of "pits." It isn't "punishing the breed" to ban them, it's protecting children and other people who can't defend themselves as well. Seriously, people are lobbying to ban large boas and pythons, which have cause ZERO deaths in the USA, yet pits kill forty kids a year in the US but no one thinks of banning them?
fudrick 0
Yes, most "bad dogs" (I don't actually think animals can be bad or evil, btw, that's why I've been using terms like aggressive and dangerous) come from bad training, but if a simple lack of training results in such a deadly animal, that animal should require a license to own. Of course it isn't the animal's fault, but that doesn't mean dangerous animals should be allowed to roam the streets.
fudrick 0
Sorry, but did you even read my comment? I don't think all "potentially dangerous" animals should require licenses, I think animals that are PROVEN to be extremely dangerous, aggressive, and often deadly, and that are also commonly owned by people who don't give them the training needed to be safe animals in order to have "guard dogs" or something, should require a license. If you had read any of my other comments on this thread you would know that I know many breeds are capable of attacking and killing people, and IMO any animal that regularly kills people (at least a few per year) should require a license to own as a pet. That's just common sense. It's like a gun license, driver's license, etc. Dangerous things should require licenses to own. I don't understand why you think the deaths of many innocent children is justified because some pits are "great dogs." I'm sure if you had an ignorant neighbor who thought it was okay to have an untrained pitbull loose in his backyard, and that pit came into your yard and killed your child (if you have one), you would want his right to own dogs to be taken away. Requiring a license to own does the same thing, except without the kid dying part.
flame1819 0
Jeez, last time there was a mean dog that wanted to kill me, I ended up becoming friends with it.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Shooting the dog was a jerk move. There are alternatives, and even beating it in self-defense is okay, but there's no need to use so much force.
mmidget 0
haha sorry but fail! haha
Twaffle 0
You got a seizure from tripping over a cat? Fail
iheartjustinsane 0
The only reason people don't like pets is because they take the attention away from them, so I think #20 should take a good look at him/herself before calling someone else an attention *****.