Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, my orthodontist thought it would be a good idea to put braces on the teeth in the very back. One bracket popped off twice, after which he shoved a metal band in my mouth onto one of my teeth, cutting my gums, and causing gushing blood. Now, I can’t eat anything unless it’s baby food and I have a lisp. FML
Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML
Today, I went to see my orthodontist. He informed me that I have an underbite and I will probably need braces again. I just had them taken off last year, after five and a half years of oral hell. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Preposterous!
whirlednews 8
Why is it always the P that stimulates gag reflexes?
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Comments (106)
Enslaved 38
Picky people pick Peter Pan peanut butter. It's the peanut butter picky people pick. (:
ulissey_fml 22
Soory, op, I meant to say you deserve 3, 14159265 FML, of course. Well,in my o'inion.
ulissey_fml 22
Thank you for s'illing the beans.
rafty4life 3
What a prick, punch his puny package, pronto.
DanielleinDC 34
I hope your orthodontist, after laughing, did something to fix the problem.
Pleonasm 36
d
ulissey_fml 22
You'll be all right as long as you resist the need to "P".
natsaysheyyy 16
Get a different retainer, like those permanent ones that are just small wires on the back of your teeth.
Raykyogrou03 12
Try to say 'Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers'
monagro 22
Your future boyfriends will like him a lot...