Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML
Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear 'original' jokes about women drivers from now on. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, my girlfriend got fired from her job for arguing with her female coworker. I found out from a mutual friend that the reason they were arguing was because they were fighting over "a hot male coworker" who hooked up with the female coworker. I think I need to leave her. FML
Today, my sexist, misogynistic boss showed me a new program we all have to use. After several minutes of him explaining it badly and belittling me for doing it wrong, I opened a sub-folder that showed that I CREATED THE PROGRAM. He walked away, then later wrote me up for "having a bad attitude." FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML
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Top comments
ng7899 0
feminists are so stupid. I'm all for women's rights, but they take it about 100 levels too far.
ollierobs 0
Tell her to man up.
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Comments (114)
bonbonscity 0
she was just jealous of your testicles.
HouseKeeping 0
Bunch!
JesterMarcus 0
Crossword puzzles are not allowed in the kitchen anyway.
TripleD76 1
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to screw it in, one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination, one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination, one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like", one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic, one to blame men for not changing the bulb, one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it, one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs, one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs, one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians, one to alert the media that women are now "out-lightbulbing" men, one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary. haha feminists suck
cumverg 0
God's not a woman, because none of us are sandwiches
ramfan1701 9
I think I love you...
cumverg 0
Should have told her to quit her tantrum. Sandwiches don't make themselves, ya know
MerrikBarbarian 9
if she's that militant you should of known better then to offer unrequested help. ydi
kelly12333 6
PMS xD you should give her chocolate tomorrow
drewski50 6
what a bitch..
Calyx_fml 22
Misoandrist pig.
ibufficus 2
Holy **** people just because this woman is a rude bitch doesn't excuse all the misogynist anti-woman commenting going on here. A woman who hates men and gets pissed when they offer to lend a hand is not a feminist. She's a bitch who is the reason why people think all feminists are man haters. That doesn't change the fact that FML is full of assholes who clearly don't even know what feminist means.
AmethystRain 20
Easy there, Gloria Steinem. I'm a female and the majority of "feminists" I've encountered ARE man-hating bitches with self-entitlement issues. Most of them need to get laid or get hit by a car. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go blow my husband and make him a sandwich. Why? Because I LIKE to.