Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML
Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML
Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML
Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML
Today, my car broke down dead in the middle of the highway. As I was unable to get it out of the road, it was impounded, and my insurance won't help. Now I'm further in debt and struggling to get to work. FML
Today, I was in a huge traffic jam with my boyfriend due to heavy snowfall. After being in the car for 4 hours, we were stuck in a tunnel with hundreds of cars behind and in front of us. Then the diarrhea hit. I had to shit in a plastic bag in the car. FML
Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML
Today, I pulled out of my parking lot to head to physical therapy and the alleyway was blocked by some traffic. I nudged over to allow a garbage truck to pull in and my passenger window shattered against a dumpster handle. FML
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
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Top comments
LovesSushi 25
Why would you not just pee outside? I would do that before I would use a plastic bag.
maz95 17
Well I honestly think being caught changing a tampon on a highway is worse. But yes, FYL OP.
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Comments (76)
BVBarmy_girl 22
**** his life too! Bad luck :i
MyNameIsViet 15
First an fml about peeing, then about a tampon, then were back to peeing again.
Damian95 16
The moral of these FMLs is when you gotta go, you gotta go.
counterfit 10
Not if he's into that kind of stuff...
alipod 11
he is lucky! m/
SmosherMe 6
Unrelated to the FML... but I love BVB and AA, also.
LovesSushi 25
Why would you not just pee outside? I would do that before I would use a plastic bag.
Enslaved 38
It's 10 degrees in WI. At least in her car she could keep the heater on. :P
cupcakechick 17
and maybe he was trapped inside, he did land in a ditch
cuddly_scorpion 4
Ooooo, 10 degrees. Where I live it's a -47 windchill, which probably explains how I can be so cracked in the head and have a woefully misplaced sense of superiority over foreigners. I truly suck as a person. Bury me.
andyyroxx 20
21- Notice it was a female. Plus I highly doubt she would be stuck in the ditch herself.
TheGodDamnJoker 9
Considering she's a female I'm actually quite surprised she was able to pee in a bag! unless of course it was really big. Either way OP made that tow truck man's day.
maz95 17
Well I honestly think being caught changing a tampon on a highway is worse. But yes, FYL OP.
Vimy 6
Poor trucker though, twice now he's seen em. F his life.
mb2_native 15
Would be funny as hell if it was actually the same guy wouldn't it?
alexsam_fml 10
And then OP and driver did it on the car hood :D
rhysfucker 24
Cue cheesy **** music...
superpoptart 24
Is that a banana for scale?
dmoran20 27
Brown chicken brown cow!
60cent 7
It is both u have a bad luck and u deserve it !
andyyroxx 20
She deserves it for having to pee at an inconvenient time in the winter?
mb2_native 15
Either hover, or lean against a tree if its a girl and just whip it out if its a guy (I'm on the app so I don't if it a he or a she).
ShyAnn29 15
55, I'm on the app too, and it shows the symbol for female in the right hand corner
Enslaved 38
The expression "Caught with your pants down" applies here! :O
rhysfucker 24
He should be thankful you didn't smack him with a used tampon. *edit*. 3 beat me.
Enslaved 38
Into S&M, I see! ;)
27BronxBombers 12
Actually, he's into referencing FMLs prior to this one :P
rhysfucker 24
Don't worry Enslaved...I got ya... : )
oj101 33
Do you happen to be related to the girl who changed her tampon in her car?
ocramavaf 15
op is a woman
maz95 17
#11 - that's the joke. Genders don't matter. It's the fact that both people were caught doing something pretty similar..and totally unhygienic in my opinion.
fadingaway 17
Can women not be related to other women?
andyyroxx 20
I'd think not. Mothers and daughters are but a mere illusion, it seems.
bReLiNg 18
Just look away....
Kalipczo 21
Well that's pretty uncomfortable and embarrassing..also I'm trying to figure out how you peed in a plastic bag.. We're you sitting? Where did you put your legs? Lol
bspiper87 7
Welk if it was a grocery bag the legs could have went through.the holes.on the handles
andyyroxx 20
Because that would make the urinating much more effective right?
buckdharma 38
Op had roadside assistance. You're in good hands with Allstate.
buckdharma 38
#16- Op had roadside assistance. You're in good hands with Allstate.
buckdharma 38
#16- Op had roadside assistance. You're in good hands with Allstate.
buckdharma 38
Op had roadside assistance. You're in good hands with Allstate