Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML
Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
I would probably go to your neighbor and talk to him and make sure of exactly what he or she heard. Good luck and hope it works in your favor, OP.
BeastyMcbeast 19
Hopefully they were talking about at night and not at that moment. If they were talking about the latter then I'm sorry Op. That's not fun at all. Might be time to have a serious talk with your girlfriend if it indeed was the latter.
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Comments (81)
Silk_Routes 14
Good luck until u clear the clouds...god bless u
gintwinsmoore 20
Damn I'm sorry to hear that OP. If you're at work then she must've been home with someone else.
Renee4Echelon 15
no shit
stormiemay 11
All you have to do is on your day off pretend you are going to work and spy on her
wazzup206 7
Everyone is looking at the fact she might of been cheating which is a possibility but also she could of been using a viberater which is a possibility
dakatabg 31
Busted!
Renee4Echelon 15
She may or may not be cheating on you. Obviously, if she is, you are no longer satisfying. Hopefully your neighbor is a pyscho and your gf isn't cheating. If she is - throw her out the window
FMLusername969 21
You have one ****** up way of thinking 30.
Colon_Man 17
#30 is a glass half full kind of girl.
iseebearbears 27
30-That's the best comment I've seen in a while!
worldclassrager 41
Perhaps a new girlfriend is the best solution
messymessiah 11
Hopefully they didn't mean right at that moment? Or your girlfriend likes watching **** really loud?
iFaris123 10
Your girlfriend is cheating on you and all you do is submit an FML about it ?? wow YDI
limabeans101029 21
Firstly, how do you know s/he hasn't done anything about it? S/he could've had a big talk with her/broken up with her and then posted the FML. All FMLs start with "today", so this could've happened ages ago for all we know. Secondly, if she is cheating on OP, why should OP have to do anything other than break up with her?
egeiro 11
Perhaps...it was your neighbor. :-/