Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML
Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
I would probably go to your neighbor and talk to him and make sure of exactly what he or she heard. Good luck and hope it works in your favor, OP.
BeastyMcbeast 19
Hopefully they were talking about at night and not at that moment. If they were talking about the latter then I'm sorry Op. That's not fun at all. Might be time to have a serious talk with your girlfriend if it indeed was the latter.
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Comments (81)
vikky538 29
No matter how much your girlfriend wants to hide it theres always a leak.
igg125 30
Maybe she was watching ****.
Benmantha 31
Ah damn it. That was my first thought as well, but I missed your comment. Yey to ****!
daddysgirl243 21
really loud **** haha
TheTardis123 11
At least you weren't showing your boss something on your phone. :/
savy_m 14
Yikes.... Not the best way to find out....
zahidnasir 22
it could be coz of various things take any decision after you have seen it from your very own eyes
Benmantha 31
Maybe she was just watching **** and forgot the headphones?
beararm 11
Tell her u been cheating on her and c if she says me too. But stand far, and have a back up if she's not. lol
Miss_Whipped 43
I bet you get all the ladies.
MrConcise 35
For each lady he gets, he actually has "two". Just in case.
FMLusername969 21
I don't get it #18
Hyenayena 27
Please tell me more, oh master of relationshits
beararm 11
The lady is getting ploughed so hard the neighbors r complaining and you all would still get mad at the guy fake cheating. My advice, the first comment plus jst cheat 4 real, dnt lie about it, that's jst wrong.
HoboMeth 36
Can the neighbor hear the other guy?
Teyros 24
Yeah that can be pretty awkward. Figure out when they heard the noise and if they had seen anyone come or go.
Colon_Man 17
Oh ho ho... I'm just going to stand over here and enjoy that subtly. :D
AyeJay101 25
Damn OP, I always had that paranoia myself as to what's going on at home when I'm working. I hope it's something other than what most of us may be thinking.
Reider022 16
Sad that's what it's like these days where a lot of people can't trust the one person they should be able to trust the most.
jbuckets_404 39
Perhaps it's time to buy a Nanny-Cam just to be sure.