Today, I got a phone call. I thought it was just one of these toll free numbers that were always calling so when I answered the phone, I said, “City morgue: you stab 'em, we slab 'em! How may I help you?” It was my college calling to discuss my grades. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered in my professional “customer service” voice: “Hello, this is Sarah, how may I help you?” It was my mom, who immediately said, “Why are you talking like a robot? Did you get fired again?” I was on speakerphone at the grocery store checkout. FML
Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with four departments at my college due to a mistake on my tuition bill. The last guy I talked to told me to call the financial aid office and hung up before I could respond. That was the first office I called. FML
Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML
Today, I got a call from "No Caller ID", which usually only shows up when someone calls from my house phone. Thinking it was my kids, I answered imitating a cartoon voice. It wasn't my kids. It was the district attorney's office calling about the job I applied for. FML
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, I saw a missed call on my phone. Thinking it was one of the multiple jobs I applied for, I called back. Turns out it was just a debt collector. FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML
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Top comments
John Nemeth 14
*school* “Oh perfect we wanted a place to put your grades to rest. We figured the ground was the lowest we could go”
BurnInDemonFire 39
Look at that. Your college taught you a lesson even when you weren't attending. Big ol' YDI comin' atcha.
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Comments (19)
Davros 12
Tell them your Detective Johnson and they just called a crime scene and you need them to answer a few questions.
purplepixie23 16
So you’re 10?
Soninuva 41
Considering that you didn’t recognize the area code as being the same as your university’s and assumed it was toll free (which would have an area code of 800 or 888), I’m not surprised your university was having to call you to discuss your grades.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I like mine better - Murphy's Mule Barn, head ass speaking! :D
MediocreMan19 18
As if your answer didn’t show enough lack of maturity