Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML
Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML
Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Get a lawyer, and take your husband for everything he's got, and will ever have. It's a shame you can't sue the secretary, and his co-workers, as well. Those ******* need to be taught a lesson.
wanted_2_want 40
Correction: he’s still interested in sex. A LOT !! just not with you. Anymore.
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Comments (46)
Travis Jones 3
Not gonna lie that sucks for u but high 5 your newly minted ex-husband for me XD
831curmudgeon 7
You meant to say "soon-to-be-ex-husband" right?
OneWhoKnows 5
Bye bye and take everything when you go