Today, I found out that whenever my roommate's friend-with-benefits comes over, he uses my bikini trimmer to shave his pubic hair. I've been using that trimmer for months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML
Today, I found out my mum has been using my electric shaver for several months to shave her pubes and underarms. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML
Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML
Today, I came back to my room and sat down at my desk to find pile short, curly hairs on it. Neither me or my roommate have curly hair, and it isn't mine. I think he trimmed his pubes over my desk and forgot to clean it up. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
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Top comments
RememberSchlitz 9
Go buy a new one and hide it for your use. Dip the cutting edges of the old one in capsaicin oil before he comes over. Hilarity shall ensue.
almost_there44 26
I hate when people use things that are not theirs. Especially to do some nasty shit like that, it's inconsiderate and dumb as hell. Just buy a new one OP, or tell him too. Also, tell that fool to keep his hands off your things.
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Comments (45)
slothstronaught 11
This situation sounds like it's going to get hairy.
WiredTechnician 26
That also means you can get crabs from them if they have it, ****** gross as hell
Pandapuplove 10
Herpes too!!
Zmanzem4 17
Sounds like a sticky situation if you ask me
Kitcat1234 21
Well it's a good thing no one's asking you
_Adog2645 24
I'm not sure if this comment was a terrible pun, or an attempt at being funny...
PencilTips 19
Being a clean freak myself with people I don't know, I can feel your disgust OP. Items that are not often used (like your trimmer) should be stored somewhere if you're living with someone you don't know or who have visitors like that often. Personally, I'd consider getting a toothbrush cover as well.
Bearsmomma 30
living with someone you don't know? scary
RememberSchlitz 9
Go buy a new one and hide it for your use. Dip the cutting edges of the old one in capsaicin oil before he comes over. Hilarity shall ensue.
_EnderDoge 22
#5: Pardon me if I'm just an idiot, but what is that and what would it do?
Maxwellminpin 19
#17, Capsaicin is an active component of chili peppers, which are plants belonging to the genus Capsicum. It is an irritant for mammals, including humans, and produces a sensation of burning in any tissue with which it comes into contact.
False_Stupidity 42
A purely evil plan there #5... I like the way you think.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Wait... isn't there an OTC cream called Capsaicin? I think it's for pain relief. Don't know if I'd try it with this information!
chocoladisco 1
where would you get capsaicin in pure form (as the powder) or dissolved in oil from? Except doing some hexane extraction and then subsequent destillation or something.
Tripartita 45
Christ, I've been meaning to get a friend with benefits myself, but my teeth are so screwed up, none of my current friends want to cover dental. I have no health issues in case anybody wants to cover medical, though!
Walter_Sobchak 7
I feel as though you're struggling to get a friend with benefits because of more than just your dental hygiene...
emcat730 14
It took me way too long to get your joke but that was actually brilliant!
Tripartita 45
Fine, #12, I actually have a couple health issues (fuzzy pancreas and grumpy appendix), but they're pretty minor and in NO way make the cost of being my medical friend with benefits prohibitive… so if anybody wants to snag that position, it's still open…
Lalala579121 28
6 is struggling to get a friend with benefits because they all can't help but falling for him. As for 12 however...
_Adog2645 24
12- *woosh* Hear that? Thats the sound of the joke going right over your head!
neondash 3
you really are stupid aren't you
Lizza330 28
I don't understand how people can use someone else's things without asking first. Or why they would want to even use a razor that wasn't theirs.
almost_there44 26
I hate when people use things that are not theirs. Especially to do some nasty shit like that, it's inconsiderate and dumb as hell. Just buy a new one OP, or tell him too. Also, tell that fool to keep his hands off your things.
almost_there44 26
To.*
mh_2323 13
Really? You don't like it when people use your things when they aren't supposed to? I LOVE it when people use my things without asking.
AmericanBadAss 21
I don't understand. Shouldn't the FWB guy take care of that BEFORE coming over? It's obviously been going on awhile, so the guy knows he's going to be having sex while he's there, you'd think he'd already have taken care of that.
theonecasey 27
Just give it to him and get a new one. Gross!
Bearsmomma 30
Give it to him and have him pay for a replacement.