Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML
Today, my husband was giving marriage advice to a friend, while I eavesdropped. I heard, "You want more sex? Let her see you flirting with other girls. Sophia sees me tease a cashier or some shit, the second we get home, she's putting on sexy lingerie and fucking my brains out. It's magic." FML
Today, I’m worried that swinging might've ruined my marriage. My wife and I both agreed and we very much enjoyed ourselves. The problem is that the other woman rode me like a high intensity thrill ride roller coaster compared to the same old merry go round that is my wife. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Today, I showed my best friend proof that her husband was sexually harassing me. Now she's refusing to talk to me, and I can't let my own husband out of my sight, for fear that he's going to murder the guy. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML
Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML
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Top comments
LovesSushi 25
Well that sounds healthy...
obnum 19
...what? He sounds like a terrible person
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Comments (138)
limitedition 25
Uh.. What more do you need to kick this ass to the curb?
acerima 11
YDI for agreeing to allow the situation to happen in the first place.
muin 12
Luckily, my spouse and I are equally possessive. We both would kill each other. O.o
WonkeyDonkey 10
Sorry to hear OP! But whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Marriage is about being committed and faithful to that one special person. If he suggests swinging, then he's not committed. To then threaten that he can do it and you can't, makes him a hypocrite. If i were you, Id kick his sorry ass to the curb ;)
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Fair and balanced? Nope
SoultheWolf 19
This is one of those YDI and FYL. YDI for wanting to swing when marriage should stay between two people, if you wanted to have sex with others then you should've stayed as bf/gf. And FYL for having such an asshole for a husband. You should divorce his sorry ass...
josiem 11
No, it was the husband's idea. Re-read it.
MythsNLegends 10
Yeah... i've never gotten the idea behind swinging mysellf. It seems like a dangerous concept to me. He just wanted guilt free cheating.
pattayarick 8
What did your divorce lawyer say?
foxtrousers 14
Aaaand alimony
MissB_1990 4
Perhaps you should have thought the whole "swinging" thing out better, but I don't think that leaving would be a bad idea.