jobless
Groton, United States
Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Fresh and not Fit
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Anonymous
Binghamton, United States
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Spring cleaning
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
rrr
Canada
Bee plot
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Itchy
Today, I found out I'm allergic to soil, pollen, dust, mold, the colors green, yellow, orange, black and grey, most metals, wood, carpet, drywall, most hygiene and beauty products, and plastic. Basically, I was told to avoid the entire planet and everything man-made. FML
ava_henryy
Moses Lake, United States
Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML
Husband to be....maybe
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Anonymous
Lebanon, United States
Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML
yupimher
The long goodbye
Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML
leaftheerickson
Bohemia, United States
Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML
Top comments
loserboii 11
How did you not find this out earlier?
loserman67 36
Nose mask, protective eyewear and lots of Zertec or Clariton for you my friend. The other choice is to learn the following phrase: "Would you like fries with that?" Good luck
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Comments (64)
littlemsweirdo 12
How ironic.
GODert 8
It would be funnier if he was Mexican. I am not xenophobic or a racist just wanted that to be clear.
ICastillo 25
Yup look like its time to look for a new job
GODert 8
Why was my comment taken off? I am cursed now!
GODert 8
My statement was just saying I thought it would be if OP was from the country that borders the USA from the south. And I declaring that I am not a xenophobe or a racist.
YourAFailmod 4
Are you Mexican??
yoyoforpeace 14
Well it's just life telling you it's time for a change of plans
hahauRrcool 0
Over-exposure might have caused this.
happle 21
Wat.
LaughinStock 16
Thank you 3 I will use that as my excuse for not cutting grass. :)
loserboii 11
How did you not find this out earlier?
SirJamin 4
Right?
Zomg_Okay 27
Left!
laden_swallow09 35
Lefty-right, I wanna hear ya one (Two!) One (Two!) One-two-three-four… Three-four… Three-four, your one-two-three-four, one-two-three-four… Marching cadence, FTW
j_cat187 20
Marching candence; so intense you do it in your sleep.
mellophone21 0
Sue your employer for putting you in a hazardous working condition.
MisterMichael 9
This is one of the stupidest comments I've seen.
bmwguy01 8
hey in America anythings possible like a million dollar HOT coffee lawsuit!
kandi_kid69 15
5- Please be joking..
Stefania_P_fml 2
How can you not understand that this is sarcastic..
loserman67 36
Nose mask, protective eyewear and lots of Zertec or Clariton for you my friend. The other choice is to learn the following phrase: "Would you like fries with that?" Good luck
MDM15 5
Look at the bright side, you get paid for it. But if your allergies are that bad try find another Job that you'd enjoy doing!
imaginaryvoice 18
What kind of reaction are we talking here? Itchy eyes, and stuffy nose? Or constricted airways and seizing on the ground?
DocBastard 40
To all the marijuana trolls out there - I TOLD YOU GRASS WAS DEADLY! Now you have proof.
SkoomaKi 28
Too late. Brace yourselves, a shitstorm is coming. I can taste it.
THE_A_TEEN 28
"MARIJUANA HAS HEALTH BENEFITS, LESS DANGEROUS THAN ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO. I'M RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG" No need to worry, I took care of the majority of the argument.
loserman67 36
Marijuana is a gateway drug, everyone knows that. Very deadly. *Sits back and waits for tsunami of thumb downs and hateful comments from people who cannot spell correctly because they are half or fully baked and in the midst of a Cheetos and BIg Mac craving.*
KeyboardWarrior 10
37 Pretty much summed up the whole marijuana bad vs good argument.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Marijuana is a gateway drug. To what. My refrigerator?
reddudeover 2
I didn't know the people on FML were so square. Oh noes people not hurting anyone, quick throw them in prison! 49 - A gate way to good times.
sleepinginclass 8
58 just couldn't resist and had to prove everyone right!
TheDrifter 24
49, you laugh, but obesity kills millions. Now, back to trying to make tofu taste like cheetos and pork rinds, if I can keep them skinny they'll make me a millionaire!
DocBastard 40
reddudeover - Please, tell me more. *tosses popcorn in the microwave, grabs a pint of Guinness*
KeyboardWarrior 10
Brace yourselves, the potheads are coming! The potheads are coming!
Demonfish 14
19- I'd hate to be you right now. 58- people like you annoy me greatly. 67- there's a clue in his name :) just a minor one.
loserman67 36
Baustigt, you and Doc come on over. I have Guinness on tap, lots of Guinness on tap!
loserman67 36
OH and bring Noor with you, she's a party!
j_cat187 20
*Smashed bong over Docs head* Yea, I won tha argument!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Nope. You actually just made yourself look stupid.
mjoyn98 1
Wait you just found out? How long have you been mowing lawns?!
Kibaruto 33
Perhaps a riding lawn mower and a impenetrable airtight-oxygen filled suit? Ten again, just quit your job op. working a job that hinders your well being and health is never worth it.