Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML
Today, my father, who I haven't spoken to in over 12 years, contacted me. He just wanted to let me know that I should get tested for a rare neurological disease. The only thing the man has given to me since my conception is potentially a death certificate. FML
Today, I’m getting a very interesting demonstration of how genetics work: I have inherited all my dad’s health issues, plus those from my mom, plus a bunch of new ones that belong exclusively to me. FML
Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
Today, I found out that I have a heart disease. When I went to tell my family, they all said that it should kill me faster so that I can donate my organs to my cousin. FML
Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
Today, my dad’s in hospice, my son was diagnosed with a second rare disease, my wife is unemployed with alcohol and depression issues, to the extent of having ruined our marriage by driving us into bankruptcy. I have high blood pressure and quite honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t had a stroke or a heart attack with all this. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML
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Top comments
jrdirtbike114 2
^ Reading comprehension fail
Stunsz 0
One in a million besides no pain no gain and from your pain comes an enfant who willl love you till hes 10 and tell you to stay outta his life till 21 :)
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Comments (216)
1prettymilf_fml_fml 5
Through out my pregrenancy i said i was goin natural but i couldnt bare the pain an got one right in time. Fyl if u have that disease
sgtrobswifey 0
Holy hell, she'll be ****** if she has it and has to have a c-section. FYL indeed OP.
Flipflops4ever 0
Not all pain medications are processed the same way, so I wonder if OP's dad processes only certain common ones faster...unless he has every cytochrome elevated in which case he has bigger problems than just pain meds...& even if OP has the condition it can be overcome by upping the dose or giving the meds with an enzyme inhibitor.
JokeMeister 0
y worry. what will b, will b.
franceypants 0
if it makes your liver process it at 2x the rate, wouldn't that make it better because then it will get into your body faster?
DavLynn 4
you probably don't, it's 1 in a million, not that big of a deal
airforce987 20
so take double the dose of pain medication. problem solved.
Cassandra2877 0
What's an OP and an OB?
szechwanchicken 0
polymorphic drug metabolism isn't that big of a deal. you just need higher doses of the drug or you have to take it more frequently.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
your dad should go buy a lottery ticket