Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML
Today, my father, who I haven't spoken to in over 12 years, contacted me. He just wanted to let me know that I should get tested for a rare neurological disease. The only thing the man has given to me since my conception is potentially a death certificate. FML
Today, I’m getting a very interesting demonstration of how genetics work: I have inherited all my dad’s health issues, plus those from my mom, plus a bunch of new ones that belong exclusively to me. FML
Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
Today, I found out that I have a heart disease. When I went to tell my family, they all said that it should kill me faster so that I can donate my organs to my cousin. FML
Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
Today, my dad’s in hospice, my son was diagnosed with a second rare disease, my wife is unemployed with alcohol and depression issues, to the extent of having ruined our marriage by driving us into bankruptcy. I have high blood pressure and quite honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t had a stroke or a heart attack with all this. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML
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Top comments
jrdirtbike114 2
^ Reading comprehension fail
Stunsz 0
One in a million besides no pain no gain and from your pain comes an enfant who willl love you till hes 10 and tell you to stay outta his life till 21 :)
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Comments (216)
blizzarrd101 0
how dors ur dad no ur pregnant ?
Ukjames1993 0
R u ******* retarded, 29 weeks, if he hadn't noticed he would have to be the dumbest man alive
vettle 6
that was a little mean no? i know some women that barely look pregnant and they're more than that. so just shut your mouth.
cass85 8
Presumably because the majority of women have no reason to keep their pregnancy a secret from their parents. I don't understand what in the FML gives you the stupid thought that she would.
naruske 4
Well moron, not everyone is underage and pregnant. She could be 23 or something.
naruske 4
Well moron, not everyone is underage and pregnant. She could be 23 or something.
Hello_Its_Julio 0
oh idk maybe cause she Told Him!! smartt...
hoodsie 0
Wow 17, you fail so bad. You replied to the wrong comment. Awh.
Gurljuice 0
My friends three yr old daughter just died from that. Your lucky you no about it now rather that later. It maybe a horrible diease but early detection makes all the difference
halfprincess 3
Don't worry so much, OP. It might be worse for you & the baby than the 1-in-a-million disease
sarahemilyjane 0
pain is a normal part of childbirth. it can empower you and assure you things are progressing. it is the only experience where pain is normal and good. there are other non pharmaceutical forms of pain relief, such as water immersion and TENS good luck!
NaoPudding 8
Fine time to tell you this, huh? Maybe you should find out for sure if you have it before you freak out too much. If you do it have it, well... the pain will pass... Eventually...
bridawg 0
I hate when people say I'm so and so weeks pregnant. it makes you have to think. can people please just say I'm 7 months pregnant?!?
DocBastard 40
You hate having to think? You poor thing! All these people confusing you! Oh, the humanity! They say "weeks" because a normal pregnancy is 40 weeks, not 9 months. I'm so sorry if that's confusing your addled little brain, but that's just the way it is, cupcake.
LSU33DucKAholiC 0
Oh DocBastard you are so awesome
bridawg 0
I'm not offended because I read your profile doc and you sound like a dick congrats
AcrusaderA 10
Pregnancies are measured in weeks due to the short length and the fact that the phases of pregnancy line up better with weeks than months.
BeastlyNinjer 0
iluvhobos, where did 15 years come from?
Casey777 0
you have the gift of god to make painkillers stronger
jdengel 0
it really doesn't matter too much, when you are pregnant your liver works at less then half it's normal ability
ladybugobgyn 0
That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. So where are all the pregnant women dying from liver failure?