Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my four year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML
Today, my boss and I were bragging about our new phones. I unlocked mine to show its awesome display, and accidentally opened a job search app. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I’d have a different comment if the daughter were 3, 9, 16 or 28!
Akitakat 31
Either way, I'm sure that "the boss" would understand & probably laugh about it if you just explained everything to him/her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (15)
Im_anonymousey 3
That's kinda why we shouldn't be giving our children our phones to play with. They don't understand adult consequences yet, and your phone obviously having your bosses number in it, means it's basically a phone that's really only meant for adult usage. Get your kid a kindle or and iPod. Or maybe watch them instead of thinking it's okay to let a phone do the job of your parenting. If you're lucky you'll still have a job, or maybe not, maybe your boss will see your own failings as a parent and decide, hey - if you aren't being responsible for your own child, maybe a job is out of your level of maintainable responsibilities too. But still have a kid, I'm still hoping you have a job for their sake.