Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
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Top comments
fizziwizzi 5
Don't kill it like that...chances are it will run away as spiders are very fast....Here is the best technique, imo (my sister has arachnophobia, and many people around me have varying degrees of it so I am the "spidercatcher"): You need : a glass (choose the size depending on the size of the spider), a postcard or thin piece of card. Method: take the glass and gently place over the spider. Take card, slide under glass without lifting the glass too high (so mister/miss/mrs spider doesn't escape), then lift the card and the glass at the same time & then a) throw it in the garden (my sister's preferred method as she says it's not the spider's fault she is scared of it) b) throw it down the loo . However, if like me you always have a slight fear of it climbing back up - I blame the incy wincy spider song for this lol - put some strong loo product like toilet duck or bleach to make sure...and ta da! no more evil spider.... Otherwise, find yourself a handy spidercatcher person like me who is always there to deal with them & tell them the technique!!!! Good luck!!!!
CitrusGirl 0
there's a difference between being afraid of spiders and aracnaphobia people. A phobia is a fear that is strong enough to prevent you from living a normal life
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Comments (95)
firechildredhead 0
People like this annoy me. It's a bug. kill it or ignore it. The end. I don't care what "phobia" you may have, YDI.
doink 0
I don't see why they deserve it just because they are afraid of it. At least the OP didn't run out of the house in fear. They obviously made an attempt to kill it, but ended up making a mistake, which caused the spider escaped.
FFML_314 12
By saying "phobia" are you implying they don't exist? I hope not, because you will feel really stupid.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Phobias don't exist, Annie. That's just a fancy word for "shit dudez I b a puzzy"! Ha. Fear, what kind of testicleless human could possibly be afraid of anything!? WTH!
FFML_314 12
Who the hell is Annie?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
You are.
FFML_314 12
My names not Annie, moron. Also, phobias do exist. Now please, don't reply again.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
It was a joke. And I will call you what I want to call you, Annie.
swimmerstud 7
firechildren is being a bitch today, now aren't we?
FFML_314 12
You're an idiot.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I know I am, Annie.
Shookitup 0
You: Fail Spider: Win :)
steelersjackson 0
I agree!
loshysucks 0
Ahahahahaha!! go find him and kill em ! lolz
perdix 31
Maybe you have displaced your irrational fear of spiders with a logical case of papoutsiophobia, a fear of shoes. It wasn't the spider that knocked you down, it was the damn shoe! Know who your true enemy is.
firechildredhead 0
Win
zakkaisftw 0
I found a spider on my floor and i got the insect killer and spread it on the spider for like 5 mins and it didn't die so I stood on it •-•
KYLAsaysRAWR 0
FAIL!! spiders are NOT insects.
ass2mouth 0
I eat spiders in my sleep
zach5432 3
everybody does :p. about 7 a month
melpo 0
false.
ANTLink19 4
Where there is one, their is more.
Sam_13161821 0
Just because you're scared of spiders doesn't mean its a phobia. Arachniphobics can't walk into a room without scanning the whole room for a spider. If you were, you'd be looking for it instead of writing about it. You're dumb. This isn't a FML.
Xavi89 0
wow dude,you fail on so many levels it's not even funny!
haitilover 0
sux