Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went dirtbiking. While I was going down a hill, I spun out of control and flipped over my handle bars. I now have a sprained arm, multiple bruises and a crescent-shaped gash on my neck that looks like I was bitten. People are asking if my boyfriend and I were being frisky last night. FML
Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML
Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML
Today, I was having motorbike lessons. We were parked by the side of the circuit when one side of my gloves dropped on the ground. I tried to pick it up without getting off the bike. I lost balance, fell off the bike and the bike landed on my leg, trapping me. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML
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Top comments
takeapieandrun 9
How did you manage graze so many things at the same time? Lol.
CloudEnvy 17
Strike me down if i'm being stupid.. But: I'm pretty sure the brakes don't rely on the chain.
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Comments (182)
notsocommonsense 1
learn how to bike this made me laugh as a mountain biker i've never heard of someone failing this hard lol
its_tuesday 6
my uncle just recently got fired from his job for having crutches because he broke his leg when someone hit him with their car while he was riding his bike home from work. he flew over the car and hit the pavement so hard it broke his helmet in half. i think you got off pretty easy. put on a band aid and shhhh.
Lils123 0
Sorry but.. I lol'd Haha, but seriously that sucks man.. I only fell off my bike when I ran into trees o_o
oshi16toofly 0
Today my sisters threatened to leave church without me. So naturally I chase after the car. Not thinking that even though it's September Alaska still gets black ice. So basically I ran, slipped, dragged my face across the ground, and layed there for about 5 mins before anyone realized it wasn't a joke. Now I'm in the doctors office waiting to get 10 stiches down my face. FML
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Please learn how to properly submit your FMLs, so they can go through the moderation process. If you won't do that, then at least learn to rephrase your FMLs as comments.
oshi16toofly 0
I put that in the wrong area. oops
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
As did I, apparently. Oops. You have my apologies. :)
Ttime21921 0
what is a nettle?
Bees_fml 0
I just checked. Google still exists.
smileyshraddhas 9
a plant that has stinging nettles (fuzzies around the stems) on it.
Poster_Pastry 0
what are nettles? lol
catatonicsleep 17
stinging plant
Aznboifreakster 0
ouch
shadowrobot 2
ummmm what are nettles
smileyshraddhas 9
stinging nettle plant.
changetheworld 0
ouch!!!