Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML
Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML
Today, I went on a jogging date with a guy I'd been on a couple of dates with. I was a little worried that I wouldn't keep up, but I did and everything was fine. Or at least I thought so. After we'd finished, he dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML
Today, while talking on the phone with my long-distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" for his papers. After I objected, he told me, "Well, you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML
Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a "nice try." FML
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Top comments
fooltemptress 36
There are many that would argue marriage and a funeral are roughly the same thing.
Welshite 40
#3: Are you kidding? When I race a girl, I make sure she loses. That way I get to show off my physical athleticism and can comfort her after her loss. It's a win-win. At least, it's what I would do if I ever got the chance. *weeps*
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Comments (50)
FMLcommenterer 13
Ooooo, kinky.
CaptainBlack 18
aww how cute, he was saying he's going to be there until the very end :3
brandoneyez1 25
Sounds like you really like him. Let him know how u feel. Sounds like u wanted him to of said "marry you"
derpshit_com 4
Duh? NIRVANA QUOTE!!
Nish007 15
marry, bury = same thing
drarraise17 4
REMATCH!
MattChristensen 14
You are so british