Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
Today, while high, I accidentally sent a pizza to my ex-girlfriend's house instead of my apartment. She has a restraining order out on me. This is bad. FML
Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery after a long day. When the delivery guy showed up, I realized I had no cash, so I tried to pay him using my credit card. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the PIN, and after three failed attempts, the delivery guy just stared at me in awkward silence and said, "It’s okay, I’ll just take the pizza back." FML
Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML
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Top comments
fancymega 7
Maralize legajuana
AbstraktThoughts 13
Chill with him, eat his pizza? ;) he won't remember it.
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Comments (218)
CuriousAlien 7
So what we get drunk So what we smoke weed We're just having fun We don't care who sees So what we go out That's how it's supposed to be Living young,wild, and free
stormchaser24 24
So how did he pay? Or did you just pick his wallet up and help yourself to a nice tip?
BlowinChronic 18
Washington legalized weed now so you better prepare for many people baked out of their minds with the munchies.
redbluegreen 41
I actually really doubt the legalization will significantly increase the number of users. The ones that would benefit are probably already doing it.
BlowinChronic 18
Yeah true... Legal or not stoners are going to get stoned. (I definitely don't know this from experience...)
janexxdoe 7
I think you just met my husband's friend.
SadIife 6
Well marihuana is legalized in Washington. He s getting ahead of the game.
perdix 31
I'm guessing he forgot how to tip as well. I'd think you can take the stoner's wallet and make sure you get paid for the pizza. Feel free to take an extra $20 to make up for the chump that turned down such a tip earlier on today.
sl524 4
This is why they shouldn't have leagalized it there. Now people are gonna take even more advantage of it and have mad fcked up trips!! LOL
laden_swallow09 35
Since that's the case, I'd say let natural selection run its course and let all the morons who play with the proverbial loaded gun go ahead and fry their brains. Some people know and respect their limits and live normal lives, but what we see more often are the immature who can't handle themselves.
The_F3rris 11
"Trips" ?????? Have you ever smoked? Obviously not....
jangalianxi 6
149- which can be said word for word about alcohol as well.
insomniac8400 13
he wasn't just high, he was tripping. bad. if you just left you're a dick.
EyesofStone 27
OP is doing his job. He has no obligation to stay. And if the customer was really on something more intense than weed, then OP should have gotten the **** out because druggies can get violent. If he looked that bad, I might have called the cops, but I would never in my right mind stay with him.
Iris_Wildthyme 4
Seriously, what's a pizza delivery person presumably with no medical training supposed to do if the guy is 'tripping' apart from maybe call the cops and have him arrested, or call an ambulance, who will send the cops as well?
FlyingPie 17
You should have given him a pizza your mind.
ThomasScott 7
Love the name Broseph.
chris_a7x 11
Ba dumm tsss!!
tsent8 15
Please tell me he payed you in pot. Just tell me he payed you in pot. XD
taarna77 6
Isn't is supposed to be "paid"?