Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML
Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
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Top comments
FurryCup 0
Join them? ;)
DaSexyBeast 0
well find someone to have sex with and scream even louder it will be a fun little contest
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Comments (180)
misfitSuperStar 0
#34- great pic!! Did you try beating on the ceiling with a broom handle, etc. OP?
rileykins 0
that never seems to work in the movies.. :/
_streets_ 19
um threesome, jk, I would go tell them to stfu
Maflagulator 1
Gotta be a ***** bringing home customers at that hour....the odds of a guy AND a girl having that much sex drive is quite slim. if not, then a **** set.
plethora 3
Oh ye of little faith.
rebbee 0
This is an FML because u don't have someone to bang at 3am? I, personally would look on the bright side, At least you dont need **** while you are having fun with Mrs Palmer and her five daughters! ;-)
ZOMG_h4x 3
Join them!!
yakyak132 0
get a partner in ur room and scream louder and c wat happens
Turtle_Mode 0
ydi because I'm on vacation!
M0llie 0
haha go **** your mummah.
terry984 0
lol. nice
XXXL87 0
i would start playing annoying music a random times. pick some heavy metal, and crank the volume up high! if that doesnt work call the police and say they are growing pot.. hehehe se how that works out
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
May I suggest the following: -The Macarena -I Don't Wanna Wait, by Natalie Merchant -Zombie, by The Cranberries -Anything by Nickleback -My Heart Will Go On, by Celine Dion -That 90's song where Celine Dion raps -TV Land theme songs -Early Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, and N*Sync -The O Brother, Where Art Thou soundtrack [Note: Don't get your panties in a bunch. I picked songs for their irritation potential when overplayed, not according to what I personally like or dislike.]
Trollz4daLULZ 2
"I Don't Wanna Wait" was Paula Cole. Natalie Merchant was the singer for 10,000 Maniacs, whose big hit was "Because The Night".
perdix 31
Record her love noises, burn it onto a CD, and then play it on a continuous loop on a boombox you placed in your building's lobby with her apt # on it. You could also podcast the sounds. . . just make sure you give me the link!
shadyecko 0
******* win!