Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML
Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML
Today, I talked to my birth mother for the first time in over 26 years. Five minutes into our conversation, I remembered why I stayed away. FML
Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, I found the phone number of my biological mother after years of searching for her, and gave her a call. I introduced myself by name and said, "I'm your daughter." There was a pause at the other end, followed by, "The one I aborted or the one I gave away?" FML
Today, I asked my mom to tell me how she met my dad, because after 15 years me and my dad are finally working on our relationship. My mom thought it was a good time to tell me he’s not my father, and that my biological father wants to meet me this week. FML
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Top comments
The_Weirdo 10
Oh boy, another George Lopez moment.
iAmScrubs 19
Don't tell me your dad had one of those voicemail automated responses that make it seem like you are actually talking to him when you are not. Those things piss me off.
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Comments (113)
The_Weirdo 10
Oh boy, another George Lopez moment.
Eggers 2
op then later found out that he has a half brother with the exact same name.
innavoiG 9
And a sister.
ipodseller 0
today is a day we will not forget, brett favor has been murdered by the local gang... let's have a moment of silence please.
logo79 0
fail
chuckychan 8
maybe its a good thing? if i had a parent like that i wouldnt want to talk to him
CateXOX 0
By a George Lopez moment you mean a moment filled with Mexicans failing at comedy, right?
Eggers 2
81- I bet your idea of comedy is dick jokes and masturbation.
CateXOX 0
82- No, not really. I'm sensing a Lopez fan.
Eggers 2
83- I'm a fan of legit comedy that doesn't revolve around sex. that's true talent
tpreston 0
GO EGGERS!!!!!!!
CateXOX 0
84- I never said I was into that kind of humor. It appears to me that we have a very different definition of "talent", however. It just doesn't entertain me.
Eggers 2
87- well, I'm a stand-up comedian. When people stop thinking I'm funny, I'll reconsider my definition of "good comedy"
CateXOX 0
89- Comedy is subjective. I don't "Teehee" at penis jokes, and George Lopez is about as hilarious as my shit, but that's just me and my opinion. I've never heard your stand-up, so I can't judge.
seanders 10
92 I'm with you. Lopez is a hack
alex1432 9
Mel Brooks, 'nuff said
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
*sniff sniff* thats sooo deep.
ijrnelson 0
win.
cgchamp89 7
that's what she said.
cocobulla1 4
lmao I laughed when I read that, "so deep" lmao!!! and aw im srry bout ur father probs....
EvilPotato 15
don't worry OP your dad sounds like a bitch.
EvilPotato 15
don't worry OP your dad sounds like a bitch.
agaba 0
lol thats a perfict twss moment
fanceh 10
buy him an xbox, he might like you more.
CoconutMuffin 5
That's nice, 3. Because being possibly unloved by your father is fix-able by buying him an X-Box. Keep it classy Fanceh.
ramurrump 0
Coconut Muffin over here is the epitome of class, I would listen to her.. I mean, what are you thinking?? FML Is a classy site and should be treated as such.
Dreamkiller51 5
buy him a PS3 it's better
robotiick 12
51- thts y ur server got hacked by over 1000 ppl hahahahahaha
CoconutMuffin 5
Ramurrump, I don't know if that is an insult or a complement. So I'll take it as a complement. Thank you! :)
Freeze_fml 17
It didn't get hacked by over 1000 people. Sony is giving us two major title PS3 games and two PSP games as an apology for the outage. So enjoy that monthly subscription.
agaba 0
family guy did somthing likw that
Soloman212 28
Woah it got hacked by 1000 people?! What n00bs! It took a whopping one guy to hack into Microsoft, Department of Defense, et cetera.
Prankster7o7 5
Hahaha, personally I like Xbox better, but who gives a shit? they both do their jobs perfectly which is to entertain you. Quit arguing over which is better like little elementary boys arguing over who's dad can beat up the other kid's dad, and get a real hobby.
JacksonCampbell 9
Live gets hacked too, but they don't shut down the servers, allowing for more information to be leaked.
Dreamkiller51 5
70- yea that's why none of the 4 FMLs you posted did not get confirmed. hahaha who's laughing now huh BIATCH.. F*ucking ******
noboundary 9
wow hold up. what, they are?! I didn't receive an email telling me that. thanks for the info.
NomOnShroomz 14
Go to a pay phone and press 0 you can have an amazing conversation with a hot Asian for free... they usually don't call the cops it you hit on them...
BBBBOOOOYYYU 3
trolololo
HeavyMetalViking 0
Or you can call me, I'm hotter than Lucy Liu and gayer than Hard Gay. But don't hit me or I'll go Bruce Lee on your ass.
kickazz16 15
you know what, just live with him respect him but know the fact that there are others that love you alot.
lekiat 0
I hate when people don't treat their kids well.
mk58 31
Then again, OP could have contributed to the problem as well. It's not always the parents' fault.
rawrinbear 0
thats what mine is....
mercuryburst 0
Yes, but your feelings don't matter.
tree07 1
Hello.......... Whats up.............. Ahh nothin much just listening to you make a fool outta yourself lmao #10 epic comment
Eggers 2
I love how accommodating and sweet black women are
melissamoshh 0
86... wtf
daminantion 14
I wish my dad was a black woman.. :O
Eggers 2
101- see how you're being a cynical a-hole? notice that you're not black? 'nough said
mk58 31
You should try and fix whatever issue has risen between you two. At least before it's too late and you regret not doing something to make things better.
ccc567 0
totally! fix whatever problem before u cant fix it anymore! and if u dont fix it u are going to regret it big time. he is ur father no matter what!!!! so forgive and forget. fix it before u cant even contact him anymore!
ReynshineCutting 10
There are some things you just don't forgive your fathers for. I've accepted that my dad is a selfish dick who only believes what he wants no matter what so I just ignore most of what he says. There's no use doing anything else. Some parents just suck.
daminantion 14
True, forgiveness goes a long way. but to be a parent it takes more than poplin out a kid; you must be responsible and acknowledge the fact that all actions hereafter are for more than yourself. To be a parent is he/she whom takes care of, raises and shows the kid that which we acquire to be fit in our adult lives.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
find his address and glass him?
shibainu519 0
that's depressing. but at least you got to talk to him?
awesomegirl2s98 1
Ish. op got to talk to him-ish.
Randuhh_17 4
hey, better than I got.. I never met my biological father, I call him, and tell him I'm his daughter...and you know what I get.. "I don't wanna talk to you"...click... the silver-lining?...I'm still gettin' his monaaaayyyy...;p
iAmScrubs 19
Don't tell me your dad had one of those voicemail automated responses that make it seem like you are actually talking to him when you are not. Those things piss me off.
tree07 1
Hello.......... Whats up.............. Ahh nothin much just listening to you make a fool outta yourself lmao epic comment #11