Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, I got a call from my mom's new husband. It lasted 3 minutes and those 3 minutes were of him telling me how sad I make my mom for just existing, how jealous I make her because I'm living a life she wished she was. Turns out, she told him to call me and say that because I have her blocked. FML
Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
3dollarbill 0
So did you leave a message or what?
Mirorbo 27
Such a lovely mother you have, darling...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
Osito2011 9
for your mom to do that. you must have did something really bad and deserve it or she might be for someone else. but either way confront he'd about it
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I guess I'm in no position to judge your family but that sort of sounds like it was meant to be a joke
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
omg UR puppy is soo cute! looks just like mine! is it a Morkie? or a Yorkese? (maltese & yorkie mix ;) )
emz89 0
nice mother
HeaRTs_Girl 0
Aw OP, that's my mom's name, too. lol But anyway, sucks for you if she was serious. If not, take it as her just messing with you for the hell of it. My family does shit like that all the time. My brother's voicemail says "Please leave a detailed message...for your mother". Silly shit. :-)
nucky_fml 5
or maybe they're not and you're not getting the hint
edteach 0
that wasn't creepy at all 60....
Mr_Darkside 5
it would be nice OP if you gave us a reason why your mom may be as pissed as ****.
victorianrider 0
I hate FML's like this. How on Earth are we meant to know if your mother has a completely valid reason or not for doing that. Who knows, maybe you did something unforgivable, maybe you're an angel, we don't know. Can't really agree or disagree.
montana2010 0
it's not that bad of a fml just get over it!
Actionred9 0
Wow.. I too bad you can't go on Jerry Springer but there's always Dr. Phill
musicboi96 1
lol nice one
shhortmomma 0
Okay this is completely off subject but the name Joyce totally reminds me off the movie Just Friends. "Hello Joyce?" "Mom it's me" "Chris what are you doing over at Joyce's?" Haha. Maybe OP can reenact that scene as her voicemail and make her mom laugh :)