Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
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Top comments
5secondsofvvifi 21
She really believed it was cocaine? Plus, couldn't you run after her when she excused herself? I myself would probably find that really funny, but that's just me.
dagarr 11
Well looks like ur dad was having some fun
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Comments (87)
K_kanaka 26
Well... Great humor, horrible timing.
dpxantos 10
She could have come from a substance abusive family. The joke could have brought serious pain back to the surface.
anoneemousr 12
Good for you for pointin' out a possibility. You didn't have to be a huge **** about it tho. Ya'll ******' weeaboos are always bitching about some shit
MrZsDad 19
**Sniff***
blackonblight 33
Sounds like she didn't appreciate the joke, not that she didn't get it. The fact your dad was making jokes about drug trade might not have sat well with her.
kaitb1103 23
Sounds like something my dad would do; practical jokester that he is.
Cassandra2015 21
Dad has a great sense of humour!
alberg18 12
You got a hilarious dad. Too bad your gf doesn't think the same way :(
siggy_mcsigx 22
Perhaps it brought back memories of that dockside cartel gunfight
IWishIWasObama 12
Your girlfriend is lame.