Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that my boss is a pedophile. He knows that I know. This is because he saw me looking at him… on the sex offender registry. FML
Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML
Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML
Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
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Top comments
jujuburd 0
Ok, how did that guy get a job when I have no record and am unemployed?
Mistress_Puppy 0
Wow, well I bet that friend only showed you that 'cause you were getting on her nerves about bragging. Also, You might want to watch your back at night.
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Comments (78)
jujuburd 0
Ok, how did that guy get a job when I have no record and am unemployed?
Metzler31 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
just cause he's a sex offender doesn't mean he isn't good at what he does
Cobra731 0
YDI for being a pompous, egotistical bitch. Learn some modesty.
tifdunc 14
Your coworker saved you from possibly rape. You got lucky
Loh_Superman 14
Because he is a good person ? You can become a registered sex offender for peeing in public in like a parking garage
Tenantry 0
@1 Coz his good at his job?
z4opv14 0
I'd hate to be you. :P
Xinxinix 0
Oh wow, so those friendly compliments didn't mean what you thought they ment.
Mistress_Puppy 0
Wow, well I bet that friend only showed you that 'cause you were getting on her nerves about bragging. Also, You might want to watch your back at night.
Cassy_fml 0
That's seriously unsettling... FYL I think the comments on your fashion sense were a tip-off, I mean I think it's out of place for a boss if he often makes them.
DanceRox9008 0
who would say you deserved that? no one deserves to have a boss who is a registered sex offender.....unless they're a hooker... so yeah that sucks
sunnyskys 25
lol ummm not even then would...oh wait....that bitch would make some money right? I wonder....
Katbot 0
Ahaha! Don't brag. :[
Cassy_fml 0
#7: So you're saying sex trade workers deserve sexual violence? Very nice and witty. I guess prostitutes aren't human anymore, just like those people who think any man or woman deserves to live with the threat of brutality. </sarcasm mode>
zeemac 0
I believe what he meant was that if you were a hooker that you were more likely to have a boss who was a sexual offender
rooneyroo 0
If you wanted to use a mock HTML code for sarcasm, you'd need an open tag too. Hahaha Also, sex workers are not as human as say, a fourth grade teacher or a policeman. They're all biologically human but not in terms of self worth.
shinshoku13 19
65- youre a ******* narrow minded ass
sunnyskys 25
nice come back....sounds like your a hard believer of your views/ opinions. but still....nice work
Laexxey 4
you know that there are countries out there, where prostitution is legal and as much of a normal job as cashier or security guard, right?
ohdamn_fml 2
Haha gross. Did it tell you for what? It's not always like rape or sexual assault
ObsessedWithGays 7
Yeah this kid at my school is a registered sex offender now just because he pantsed someone lol.