Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
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Top comments
braFTW 0
1. Complain to the store. 2. That ice cream thing works as well.
autumnshivaree 0
#2 - crappy store stocking. Shelf stockers are supposed to rotate items, putting the oldest in front but constantly checking for expiration dates. If a stocker puts the newest in front and not all items are bought, it's really easy for an item to sit indefinitely. And, if the stocker is lazy and doesn't make sure the things he's rotating (or leaving in the back) haven't expired - well, things get pretty nasty. - - - I'm a former grocery store worker. I've seen expiration dates that are ... surprising....
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Comments (72)
vvtumblesbee 0
like, smarties the candy? and ketchup-flavored potato chips? yep =)
Krunk 0
For a moment, I thought she was going to say she mistakenly ate some poop instead of chocolate. Now that would've really been FML.
mremonerd 0
was it from temptations chocolate factory in riverside? haha
Jo324 0
Didn't know they had body chocolate...I just use regular chocolate. >.
zebrastripe 0
the exact thing happened to me. I was wondering why this chocolate body paint was on sale... until I taste it and find out it's disgusting. I still licked all of it off anyway, and surprisingly didn't feel too horrible later. but I feel your pain.
TheNameless_fml 0
First off, YDI for not checking the expiration date before you bought it. I'd take it back to the store though. That's gross. I work at a store that sells those sorts of things and I've come across some stuff before that had been expired for over a year or two.
TheNameless_fml 0
As someone who works for a store that sells those sorts of things, it is surprisingly easy to overlook expiration dates. Also, the stores sometimes don't discard items (even the perishables) until management or corporate tells them to or unless they're damaged, because if they do they could get into trouble. Sometimes corporate will completely overlook such items when they instruct stores the discard certain items, or items will be misplaced and not destroyed with the rest of the bunch. It's not really the store's fault, and it's why you really should check expiration dates before you buy something. I'd still take it back though. I hope you still have the receipt.
theoldGP 0
hahah wow that sucks. =/ ew.
kiltkrazed 0
thank's OP! After reading your story I immediately went and checked a package of body chocolates that a co-worker bought me for Xmas. Mine's still good for another 2 years... too bad my GF hates chocolate more than I do. Oh well, guess I'll have to find someone else to snack with.
Icalasari 0
My work place wants me to leave the old product at the back. It is ink :P