Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I was fed up with things being taken from my room so I installed a key-locking handle on my door. I installed everything but the door knobs, and because I was worried that I would put the two of them on backwards, I closed the door to check. I'm now locked in my room. FML
Today, after months of wondering what a mysterious key I found in an old kitchen drawer unlocked, I finally discovered it fit the lock on a storage unit. I opened it and found a box containing three other keys I had also forgotten about. FML
Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
Today, I took a picture of the combination to my new lock so I would always have it on my phone if I ever forgot it. I put my phone in my gym locker, locked it with the new lock, then promptly forgot the combination. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
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Top comments
PaperShreds 0
Don't you need the key to lock it? If not, shouldn't you at least have a spare? At least now you can use it like those old fashioned piggy banks. Smash it! But in your case, you may need to use a diamond saw.
Lkdude77 0
Dumbass!!
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Comments (111)
glassisass 0
just take it to someone who can open it. research online. use google and look up how to open it or something. but still fyl.
Apachefire21 0
your simply retarded. like #1, your probably going to need a diamond saw to open it up. which really are not cheap. lol ur dumb
Italiae 7
You're * you're * you're *
LovelyBeginnings 0
hahaha!!!! nice dude
stewpididiot 11
well, hopefully you've learned something from this, good luck!
applelover1995 0
well at least no one can steal it now :)
ortega_fml 0
ydi for being a ****.
levitate 3
Sounds like a blonde joke.
aznboytellem 0
this fml has Fail written all over it
boomlol 0
pick the lock you tard?
JassyJas 2
Did you put your common sense in there too? jw...
mazesm 11
LmFaO!