Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I was fed up with things being taken from my room so I installed a key-locking handle on my door. I installed everything but the door knobs, and because I was worried that I would put the two of them on backwards, I closed the door to check. I'm now locked in my room. FML
Today, after months of wondering what a mysterious key I found in an old kitchen drawer unlocked, I finally discovered it fit the lock on a storage unit. I opened it and found a box containing three other keys I had also forgotten about. FML
Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
Today, I took a picture of the combination to my new lock so I would always have it on my phone if I ever forgot it. I put my phone in my gym locker, locked it with the new lock, then promptly forgot the combination. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
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Top comments
PaperShreds 0
Don't you need the key to lock it? If not, shouldn't you at least have a spare? At least now you can use it like those old fashioned piggy banks. Smash it! But in your case, you may need to use a diamond saw.
Lkdude77 0
Dumbass!!
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Comments (111)
wingedspiritus 0
Now it's completely safe! :D
charlesdogg 0
Classic or a we got liar on our hands
postaltubealex 0
Surely there is a way in. Call the manufacturer.
lespaulhero 0
Sounds like someone should invest in a blowtorch...
GoTs 0
Dumbass of the year award.
xobaby 0
don't you get 2 keys?
Ninjaface 0
Ah, I see you're thinking one step ahead of most people. After all, do you really trust yourself not to steal your stuff?
RHOPKINS13 2
Hey, you just gave me a GREAT idea! I'm going to start building safes without keys! Once you close them, they'll never open again! No safe can be more secure than the one that it's owner can't get into!
joHnnycsU 0
wait... so you just decided "I think I'm going to toss my key in there and then lock it up"? sounds to me like deep inside, you don't even trust yourself. Good luck trying to open it up.
Bassplyer 0
61 lol