Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was heading out for my flight to Australia. I'd put a padlock on my luggage to keep my wallet and passport safe, only to realize way too late that I'd left the key at home. I couldn't get at my passport and ended up missing my flight and my whole vacation along with it. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML
Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
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Top comments
icadragoon 11
What hotel did you stay at so I can avoid staying there.
aisg 14
I never noticed that. Better be more careful next time OP Maybe next time you go to a hotel you can fill the safe up with rocks and bring your valuables with you. You know, just in case :P
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Comments (154)
aisg 14
I never noticed that. Better be more careful next time OP Maybe next time you go to a hotel you can fill the safe up with rocks and bring your valuables with you. You know, just in case :P
N9ne_ZxxZxxZ_ 3
I dont know how op is supposed to be more careful when they put all their valuables in a safe that wasnt bolted down by the hotel company. what op does need to do is complain to the management team and tell them to replace and/or get his stuff back
aaahhhfire21 0
Correct me if I'm wrong but extra cash and passport seem like things a person would wanna keep on them especially when on vacation
NereidAlbel 14
Bumping into one pickpocket means you're SOL if ALL of your cash AND your passports are in your pockets when you leave the hotel. Leaving backup cash and your passports in the hotel safe is SUPPOSED to prevent such issues.
Keevarou 17
Call me a nutcase but.. I sometimes have razor blades in my pockets where the wallet is incase of pickpocketing..
Sannekee 18
And what happens when you take your wallet out yourself? Or your significant other or children (no offense if you have neither ofcourse)
fuckmebutdontfml 16
I would call you a nutcase but that's actually really smart if you can avoid cutting yourself
Keevarou 17
25, I'm used to blades and I know where they are when I take wallet out ^_^ Better safe than sorry. And no offense taken ^_^ If I meet my significant other, I would tell her about it so:)
peachesncreem 21
I've never stayed at a hotel where the safe wasn't bolted down and I've been to quite a few hotels. An inside job maybe?
sugarr0babby0 0
Next time, make sure the safe is safe
idntwannaknow 3
I didn't know "burgled was a verb.
Michaelsgirl04 9
burglarized is the more common term but burgled is also correct
Ugi 27
In English (as opposed to American) "Burgled" is the only common form. "Burglarized" just sounds crass and cumbersome.
TurnpikeTwister 0
My biggest qualm was with the word "home";I would have liked it if he had used "secret hideout", it paints more of a criminal and mischievous image in my mind
AmbrosiaWriter 17
@83: And "burgled" sounds like you're gargling. What's your point?
divadro102 16
Burgled sounds like gerbil with a d at the end. Is it really right? How is it pronounced? Is burglured a word? Something like that..
idntwannaknow 3
83 and 76: Thanks for clearing that up for me ... I'm American so it is more common for someone to say "robbed", "broke into" , or "burglarized". I didn't mean to troll.
icadragoon 11
What hotel did you stay at so I can avoid staying there.
siickman 7
Robberies can happen anywhere and any moment... Just because its a "rich" neighborhood doesnt mean shit.... in OP's case i think they were just unlucky ...
max_wilder 9
Burglarized?
DrDilllonReese 12
Yes, that's a word. Isn't it fun to know things?!
ScaughtieHolden 11
Strobberies.
DocBastard 40
Next time avoid staying at Bates Motel. Mother wouldn't approve.
BeThePanda 1
I don't know why everyone is thumbing this down, I thought it was funny.
RussianFox 13
It really wasn't.
The_Hitdude 12
Actually it was, if you know what the Doc was talking about. 'Bates Motel' is a reference to an old television show, 'Psycho'. Mother is the ghost that haunts the motel. Sorry Doc, this was before most of our times.
RussianFox 13
60-I still got reference an it wasn't all that funny, to me atleast.
zombicidal 11
she's not a ghost isn't her corpse that he talks to himself with her voice And replies in his own
DocBastard 40
RussianFox - that's why they say that opinions are like assholes: everyone has one, and yours stinks I may have paraphrased a bit.
DrDilllonReese 12
When DocBastard was initially getting thumbed down I was shocked. I never thought I'd see the day.
laden_swallow09 35
It can also refer to the movie by Alfred Hitchcock in '66 where a bank teller runs off with a bag full of cash, And is slain in her room at a roadside motel. You can watch the movie for yourself, though I've probably already said too much. ;)
boofgall 16
84- I didn't know FML affected your life so seriously that you'd be shocked at someone being thumbed down.
DrDilllonReese 12
It has nothing to do with a reflection of my life. Anybody can read something and be shocked.
RussianFox 13
99-You can't blame him for being shocked. Even when DocBastard says something that was wrong or not all that hilarious , people still thumb him up. Nothing you can really do about it.
DocBastard 40
RussianFox - Don't be so naive. I've had many comments voted down to the 4th ring of Hell. Not too many of my comments are award winners, but I've had my fair share of stinkers, too.
gmc_blossom 21
I always enjoy DocBastard's comments. I find them to be very entertaining.
Sixers01 0
127 - Get off his dick... Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say but nothing comes out when they move they lips just a bunch of gibberish and motherfuckas act like they forgot about DRE.
VorpikeII 17
137-That was verbal SHIT. Learn punctuation, and stop trying to rap.
BloodMonger13 9
it's not even virbal... it's text, text can't be virbal...
boofgall 16
141- your profile bio compared to your comment makes you a hypocrit.
BloodMonger13 9
that's when you place an explosive divice in it so if it's opened forcefully it blows up and kills the theif...
ycrem0n 21
And blow's up OP's valuables as well.. genius
BloodMonger13 9
opened forcefully and she/he doesn't have them anymore because they were stolen...
micahsmommy 13
And then the thief's family sues you for killing him/her and wins more money than you ever had in the safe to begin with.
skoob1 12
Only in America!
BloodMonger13 9
they won't know who's safe it was...
gracevet88 0
Or knockout gas and a tracker
Lightcrusade 9
That's what socks are for!
teague95 16
Yes, socks the safest form of storing valuables
ycrem0n 21
And the nicest cover of something valuable. IYKWIM
PrincessPesa 20
Ugh. - especially so if traveling abroad. I had my passport & camera stolen while in Poland on a group trip and was stuck for 3 days figuring everything out with the consulate and travel agency while the group went on to the warm weather part of the trip. Hope you had a friend to help you OP!
snator 0
Sue the hotel I mean their responsability for not attatching safe. Oh and next time make sure safe is safe.
Pentium_4 27
seriously...that's ridiculous. or the hotel should at least cover all of the losses
thiscrazything 1
Why does everybody want to sue, as soon as anything goes wrong?
RussianFox 13
33-It was actually the hotel's fault.
courtneyann211 10
42 it isn't the hotels fault. They have a sign in all the safes that say something along the lines of how they aren't responsible for stolen items and putting them in the safe is also not the hotels responsibility.
jjake20140 2
But #59, it is the legal obligation of the hotel to have the safe mounted in such a way that it cannot be easily removed
courtneyann211 10
77- almost all hotels I have stayed at (which is quite a few) all have them on the floor where they can move to clean it. Granted they weigh about 100 lbs. They have safes behind the front desk for a reason.
jjake20140 2
86, I stayed at the Hilton last year. The safe was bolted to the shelf which in turn was mounted to the wall. Most upper level hotels mount the safes
Ugi 27
Is it really? I'm not aware of any law requiring this (of course I have not looked very hard) and any hotel room I have stayed in says something like "A safe is provided for your convenience but the hotel accepts no liability...". It is, however, pretty suspicious. You can't just slip a safe into your coat pocket so whoever took this had some means of removing it, suggesting that it was more than a spur-of-the-moment thing. It would also not be worth stealing a hotel safe unless you expected to be able to open it. The likely value of what's inside and the work involved in forcing it open suggest to me that they had a "master-key" type device but didn't want it to look like an inside job as it would if they opened it in the room. I reckon it's a stitch up.
courtneyann211 10
I have stayed in plenty of Hilton hotels. None have been on a shelf. 90-thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed the sign about the in-room safes.
divadro102 16
You get what you pay for, including shitty hotels. I've been to hotels where i played cops and robbers with my little brother with the safe on the bed. Thing is, they're pretty heavy and bulky. I wonder if no one saw someone walking funny
BloodMonger13 9
because that's what the world has come too...
Keevarou 17
Are people that oblivious lately? It's easy to see of someone is carrying a safe or so on I guess.. But fyl :/ Hope you get your stuff replaced ^_^ At least you only lost valuables and not your life :) Thy should be your main concern But now you know from experience to double or triple check any safe :)
KM96 24
You should take it up with the hotel because its their fault! They should pay for everything stolen.
fuckmebutdontfml 16
I sence another fml soon, "Today I got the hotel to pay me back for everything that got stollen with the safe, they just needed to see my passport for ID, to bad it was in the safe. FML"
KM96 24
Ha ha - lol . That would be funny and so true at the same time!
fuckmebutdontfml 16
that safe is so far away from being safe!