Today, I politely asked our overweight neighbour to park on her side of the garage. Three unsuccessful tries later, she drives out and parks on the street in a huff, and I'm now the world's biggest bastard because she can't legally park on her side and still open her door due to her size. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML
Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML
Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML
Today, the last parking space outside my work was tiny but I tried to parallel park there in desperation. A school kid saw the whole attempt and sarcastically clapped me as I gave up and drove away. FML
Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
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Top comments
InfiniteSunshine 32
You're not a bastard. Your side of the garage is your property, you are perfectly within your right to tell her to move. If her weight makes some things difficult, she should know she's going to have to compromise sometimes. This is her problem, not yours.
RichardPencil 32
All you need to do is hang an object from a string hanging from the garage ceiling to guide your neighbor into proper spot. You'd be the world's biggest bastard if that object was a donut.
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Comments (26)
TMO2142 25
Its not your fault, more hers than anything
biopilot17 9
Hahaha omg I'm choking on irony... not your problem haha
ColdCreasent 17
So the reason OP wrote this as a fml is because when he asked his neighbour to park on her side instead of his, he didn't think there would be a problem which became a problem. So he didn't realize her obesity would be a reason for her to not be able to park on her own side. Now he feels like a dick.
WardenWolf 26
Sounds like she needs the walk anyway.
TipTopCaduceus 11
She's embarrassed and lashing out. Shitty but human. Hopefully you guys can discuss either having her back into the garage so her door is on the other side, or swapping sides.