Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML
Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML
Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at the mall because I thought it was automatic. It wasn’t. The make up smudge from my face is now part of the door's Christmas decor. FML
Today, I was late for a meeting. The meeting hall door was made of glass, and it said pull, but in my rush, I pushed the door so hard that it shattered into small pieces. FML
Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, after work, I found my car in the middle of the empty parking lot with a huge crack in the windshield that wasn't there in the morning. Looks like I have to get the windshield replaced. Again. For the fourth time now. FML
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Top comments
JHPugh 19
Sounds to me like you need a new 'security' team
nash1991 20
It's no wonder your security isn't doing their job well... They left their brains back home when coming to work.
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Comments (48)
JHPugh 19
Sounds to me like you need a new 'security' team
holyshmolly 13
and a new neighborhood
nash1991 20
It's no wonder your security isn't doing their job well... They left their brains back home when coming to work.
sweetbliss3 37
what the ****? think it's time to get new security, along with some cameras.
mariri9206 32
I don't think it's the security they hired. It's probably security from who they're leasing from and that person likely won't hire new security.
leogachi 15
@19 It wouldn't be in their best interest to not hire new security because their property is being damaged.
jake131000 21
Sounds like the United States secret service.(They have had a bunch of mishaps.)
The12thPaladin 8
I doubt the secret service is shooting at a store...
ThatHorse 15
#20, you clearly didn't understand the comment. Sort of like everyone else. The Secret Service has been caught on many many occasions trying to cover up their fuckups. Things like Presidential details getting blackout drunk while on duty in the middle of the day and other such things.
The12thPaladin 8
#21 no I have heard about those mishaps but I still doubt the secret service would be in this scenario.
ThePandoricaOpen 18
#28, That's not the idea. He's not saying that the SS was the security, he's comparing what happened here to their shenannigans. Nowhere did he say, (or even imply), that the President's Secret Service was working security for an ordinary store.
jake131000 21
Guys you have all been to middle school, right? A simile is the comparison of two things using the word like or as. I compared the similarities of the secret service to the security guards at the store. Everyone that disliked my comment is retarded.
Yodaddy52 7
It completely went over their heads lol. This is to be expected with sarcasm over the internet...a shame really.
oyeh 19
Those guys definitely have more than peanuts in their skulls. Geniuses really.
hkhan24 23
classified bullet hole.
neuronerd 29
You're not going to accept that answer, are you? Surely there has to be legal recourse.
smxiricky 23
they are really good liars don't believe them!!...
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
They are actually terrible liars.
Krycek_fml 19
Is your store in Detroit?
tranced_ 45
Aliens.