Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally gave myself a chemical burn. It hurts like hell and I've been told all I can do is wait it out for a few days. The worst part? It's from a reaction to a cream I used all over my chest. I can't wear a shirt without being in immense pain. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
OP YDI for smoking
keekah 0
Ydi. Don't smoke. It kills you.
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Comments (511)
Baker_FoCo 0
260 read my mind. I smoke, and I enjoy it a lot. I know I may die younger, but to tell you the truth, who the hell wants to live past 70? Becoming dependant on love ones and being a shadow of your former self would be depressing. Also, being unable to get up in bed(both literally and sexually) would be terrible. The only thing I would look forward to is going senile, and not giving a **** what anybody thinks. Being a smoker though, I've already had tons of practice...
icuponme 0
304: Nice finally someone who doesnt argue with me, jeez!!!! i also agree on the senile bit, but yeah, if these people want to live up to a undred almost in comma and vegetable state, what can we do to save them? we´re saving ourselves, GOD SAVE THE SMOKERS!!!
illmatic2 16
Are you seriously saying that you are saving yourself by smoking? Or did I just read that wrong?
wiredream 0
YDI so much for smoking quit now and save yourself while you still can :0
purplerokks876 0
in every fml at least one of the comments have "in soviet Russia" WTF!!!
imhowie 2
For 270, it seems that not just pot makes you dumb. It isn't "filosofical". It's "philosophical". Maybe just choosing to be a smoker is linked with people who are innately dumb. Just a thought.
icuponme 0
well 309, just a thought here, i wrote filosofical cuz im mexican and thats how its spelled in spanish, and well, yes, i dominate both english and spanish and italian so dont go testing my inteligence cuz i am very certain that you dont even know how to speak english properly, much less any other worldly language, so check before writing stupid comments.
Pleasure_Pirate 0
I believe you just got torched, 309.
Freeze_fml 17
It's hard to take you seriously when you misspell "intelligence."
Pleasure_Pirate 0
It's hard to believe you have a life when you're such a grammar Nazi.
icuponme 0
326: Nice response!!! Thanks! :)
Freeze_fml 17
Coming from a druggie, eh?
Raleigh_bruh 7
As much as Freeze and I take jabs at each other, he has a point and I have to agree with him. It's kind of hard to take a person seriously when they spell the word "intelligence" wrong.. As for #326, what's wrong with having good grammar? I'd rather be accused of being a "grammar nazi" than a druggie any day.
all_u_needislove 0
ouch :( but ydi
Pleasure_Pirate 0
Actually, YOU deserve it.
MonsterSports 0
Another Reason not 2 smoke causes external and internal pain
loski87 4
you shouldn't have been smoking
glider23 0
Since THAT goes with the FML?
sadiemichelle 0
ydi for smoking ,
nixonskatel 0
who the **** cares if the OP smokes. your a bunch of little bitches. I don't smoke but I'm not gonna be a **** to someone if they wanna. damn