Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, my dad has such thick, horn like toenails that when I stepped on one of the cuttings, it actually stabbed into the thinner skin on the underside of my toe and bled like crazy. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML
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Top comments
jchansfan 0
You really arern't very bright, are you? :P
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Yes, believe it or not women have to shave their toes/feet/armpits/legs/and any other part they feel like shaving, because just like any human we have hair all over our body and we like to get rid of it any way we can
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Comments (116)
JessiGoose 0
Everyone has hair on their toes. If you can't see it, you probably have fine blonde hair on your toes. But it's still there. :/
selects 0
just because you have hair doesn't mean you have to shave it. god forbid a woman actually allow any part of herself to be natural
Tequilamockngbrd 7
She doesn't have to shave it, but clearly, she wants to. God forbid the girl doesn't like the look of hairy toes. The whole "women should be all natural!" thing is just silly. Look the way you want to look, end of story.
LadyOfLannister 0
Agreed. Everything would be so much easier without the rules of society that aren't written down, yet are observed by most.
Flutist 3
Wow, I thought the war in Iraq, my cousin almost dying, and the world ending in 2012 was actually more important. But no, hairy toes ftw.
vapors 0
Wow, do shut the **** up. It's suppose too be funny, If you can't relate too that you're on the wrong website. Also, OP, I too have hobbit feet.
confirmpassword 0
... did you seriously just put 2012 in the same category as the war in Iraq?
aero_fml 0
My thoughts exactly. I think 2012 is going to be like that time they broadcast the alien invasion play on the radio and a ton of people killed themselves. I'll have the popcorn bowl ready =)
bexox 0
Not to mention the whole millenium bug thing...
DianaElise10 0
fml's aren't meant to be serious...
mrbasilio 7
Its called FML, but hey! cool story bro! Does it have an ending?
catatonicsleep 17
you should try veet or nair instead, no pain involved at all
sarahbau 0
Unless you're like me and allergic to it or have sensitive skin. I tried nair once, and got a chemical burn from it. When I felt it burning, I jumped in the shower to wash it off, but apparently the water made it worse. I couldn't walk for two days after that.
SaintJimmy 0
Put some duct tape on and swiftly pull it off, Frodo.
BelaLugosisdead 0
Silly hobbit. Non-hairy toes are for humans.
smackieonassis 0
A better method for removing toe hair - and yes, I am serious, I have done this myself - is to get a lighter and briefly put the flame to the hair on your toe. The hair burns right off, and if you do it properly it won't hurt you.
papaicey 0
yeah, that's a great solution. set your toes on fire. then you won't have any hair for sure!
arissia 0
That's pretty normal, really. Even the accidental cuts (we all have our moments).
youthink_fml 0
How does not knowing how to use a razor reinforce that fact that you have hairy toes?
perdix 31
If you are talking about a foot toe, yuck, but if you are talking about your camel toe, well, some guys like 'em hairy.
MaddogTotten 0
Might I dare to ask if, you are indeed who some people seem to think you are, why you changed your screen-name?
ScaryyMary 14
@29 who do people think perdix is? Plexico? Because I started noticing Perdix when Plexico disappeared... :S