Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML
Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
Today, I stayed late at work. While I was getting coffee from the pantry, one of the cleaners came into the break room with her boyfriend, who then proposed marriage. I was reluctant to interfere so I kept quiet, until I clearly heard them start having sex, all while I was trapped clutching my coffee jar. FML
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
D_R_A_M_A 0
Wow, I think my mom works with you...
brinky09 0
Oh you're a smart one, aren't you? YDI for not noticing the button jammed in your back.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
hellosies 0
So when you say ''halfway through,'' does that mean you got off the button and continued?
skippy722 0
maybe he put a condom in the card cuz who would go into some1's work place and say "hey, u wanna f*ck?" they prolly didnt use the condom and he used it to suggest that they have sex...
LeStab 4
oooh kinky
BWC1234 0
some ones getting fired...
PandaPandaPandaX 0
You may not get fired...maybe your coworkers enjoyed it *wink*
Ninjaface 0
Well, that's one way to give your coworkers a raise.
Lonely_Lez 0
This. Win.
andrewms 0
meh, he prob only lasted 4 seconds anyways so nobody would have noticed...
spank_u_veryhard 0
everyone do the david letterman and talk with your dick
99MDC 0
You're an idiot #6. How is this slutty? It's her husband.
skidbubble 0
YDI for having sex at work on company time. you are there to work not get your jollies.