Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Maybe not so 100%?
MegasaurusRex89 28
I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...
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Comments (242)
pharm121 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ain't nothin wrong with a little experimentation.
sonasonic 34
You should use your head next time.
Cassandra2015 21
question is , would you experiment ?
Corey122726 17
60% of the time, it works all the time.
jerzjay 17
well he's not a 100% heterosexual male anymore....
brand125 17
98 - your sexuality is about who your attracted to, not who you have sex with. but who knows, maybe op secretly liked it since his drunk mind let him, and drunk words (or in this case actions) are sober thoughts ;)
pharm121 21
Well #89, I stopped "experimenting" at like 13 when I realized I was like 110% ****...haha
ladytigerhunts 20
Exactly. There's nothing wrong in experimenting. At least now you know whether or not you like it.
mfmylifesrsly 30
Am I the only one who wonders if OP got roofied?
dswomi 12
He did. Didn't you read the FML?
MELKOZAR 27
Sucks to suck! If you know what I mean!
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Oh I think he knows firsthand (or mouth) what you mean!
epc101 8
That actually made me chuckle out loud.
username19999 7
I believe you are the master at sucking dick at sucking dick.
kindasortayeah 25
"I just gave you a *******, but no ****, bro. No ****."
LeashaJoy5595 28
Is anybody else wondering how he found out? I mean, if you're blind drunk, don't you usually forget what happened previously?
smartjingle 11
"I agree, your life 'sucks'."
mr_sarcastic416 29
#278 the question is... does it also swallow
dipsheep 11
you never know till you know..?
Hunthas 17
yY ea. check in with the Kinsey scale. Either way, there is no way you are 100% straight or gay.
Flyndaran 10
I'm completely 100% hetero. Not everyone's bisexual. But OP is definitely a hint more "open" than me. ;)
NickACD 27
Everyone has at least one person of the same sex or opposite they would be attracted to even if they are Heterosexual or homosexual.
Duladian 19
#133 Blanket statements like that, in my opinion, are rarely true. I for one do not like anyone of the same sex that way. Nor have I ever.
VeganVampyre 27
#141, that doesn't necessarily mean you never will be... Maybe you just need to meet the right person of the same sex. I'm not saying you're wrong, I just think their point was that it's possible there is someone out there you would be attracted to. Kind of like the "everyone has a soulmate" argument- just because you haven't met them doesn't mean they don't exist.
MrConcise 35
Alec Baldwin, Jared Leto, and Bryan Cranston are dreamy as ****. I am a heterosexual male. Problem?
brand125 17
can people STOP speaking for other people? dont tell someone else what they would or would not like, thanks
leogachi 15
Nobody was doing that, 184. Just stay chill.
Im2Shy 16
Ummm, nope. I'm a woman and I've NEVER been interested in another woman in my entire life. The thought of it repulsed me. Cockaholic ALL the way.
karwank 13
Everyone was saying that. I don't know what conversation you just read.
Astrum14 24
#143, that reeks of the same shit that straight bigots often pull saying that gay people "Just need to meet the right person" to turn them straight. Some people are 100% straight or gay. Just because you're a little bit gay, doesn't mean you need to project it onto the rest of humanity.
wbby18 10
not any more you aint, have fun though **** what other people think
beeferjay 34
keepin it real, lol
anniemeece 23
Maybe not so 100%?
Overlord247 20
I'm thinking 69% is a bit closer to the mark
phoenix974_fml 9
indeed
FlyingLeumer 19
This is the most thumbs upped comment I've ever seen on here!
MegasaurusRex89 28
I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...
rdenkewicz 11
Sure bud. Whatever you need to tell yourself.
blackman100 20
Maybe not 100% anymore...
WintersChild 12
I think you may not be...
LaLince 40
Did you enjoy it?
Milk_Emperor 8
Well that blows.