Today, as I woke up, the first thing I saw was a bee on my hand. I tried not to make the slightest move, waiting for it to fly away without stinging me. The second thing I saw was my cat jumping at it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML
Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
Today, I saw my cat attacking a suitcase under my bed for apparently no reason. I laughed and picked it up to show him that there was nothing there, only to find a huge wasp hiding under it. FML.
Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML
Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML
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Top comments
BatmanUnderwear 15
Wasp are you talking about?
Mary Auman 9
cats are dicks
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Comments (15)
Glowworm56 27
*Cue the theme from Psycho!*
BatmanUnderwear 15
Wasp are you talking about?
Mary Auman 9
cats are dicks
ladybadone 9
so are you asshat
Mary Auman 9
Jesus Christ you should see someone about all that sand in your ******. oh, and kindly **** off.
iskallvoid 11
So are you ass hat
RichardPencil 32
Don’t bee a pussy!
OnlyNeko 13
Them being a 'Pussy' may NOT be the iSSUE, but the FACT of them possibly being ALLERGiC to the Bee that is!!!!!
ohsnapword 21
DUDE, it has a KNIFE built into its ASS. It has an ASS-KNIFE. Tell me you wouldn't be afraid of a creature with an ass-knife.
D-MacOPsquad 15
i like how she totally didnt realize it was a pun lol always double check so you dont look dumb xD
D-MacOPsquad 15
The car was like "don't worry I save you!"
uneven_lu 3
good luck
lunalane 16
Y
ladybadone 9
oh geez that sucks. is your cat OK?
Lobby_Bee 18
Bumble bees are very tame, nothing you should worry about. Move your hand and it'll fly away. Take it as a compliment, your hands must smell like sweet nectar.